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Garfield

Greetings everyone! As some of you might already know, I've recently adopted a cat here. This little fella started showing up a few weeks ago at my porch. He would always be sitting or lounging around the door when I came back from my swims or runs. I thought he was kinda cute and since he was so friendly, I'd invite him in and give him some food.

Meet Garfield. He's an orange ball of fur with a bushy tail. Since I decided that he could come live with me, we had to do something about his hygiene and health. I personally gave him a bath and promptly sent him to the vet to be groomed and vaccinated. Then I realised something. Garfield is the laziest cat in the world! Ok thats nothing surprising right? Cats have been known to be lazy creatures that enjoy lounging around. But Garfield has a gift. You give him the right sofa to be lazy in and he'll provide all the entertainment you could ask for. For example:

This is how he sleeps normally

This is how he sleeps when he wants to have a different perspective of the world

This is him pretending to be superman

And then there's Garfield pretending to be road kill

Sometimes, he tries to camouflage himself and pretends to be a misplaced feather duster

Even though we've only spent like a week together, we've already developed a pretty good understanding of each other. Garfield knows what time I usually get up and will start meowing for his breakfast around then. He also has a certain style of meowing to indicate to me that he's hungry. Of course, standing next to his food dish gives me a good hint too. He also knows how to show that he's thirsty

Not all has been smooth sailing though and we have had our little arguments. When I refuse to give him any more food or buy him the latest cat toy, he'll sulk and try to be funny by sitting on his sofa facing the wrong direction, refusing to look at me.

Garfield is also a silent killer. He will stealthily sneak up behind you and then let a fart go. And I tell you, his farts are phenomenal stink bombs! And worse of all, they have no sound! By the time you realise, its too late and he'd be sniggering somewhere far away or acting blur (even though there's only 2 of us in the house). Of course I couldn't take this lying down so I got my revenge after dinner one night. 2 cans of coke plus some mutton curry is a great combi to churn up some gastronomical gases. When the time was right, I ran straight up to him and pointed my ass in his face. Before he could realise what I was up to, I let a big one rip.

That sure knocked him out good for a while. But despite all this, we're still the best of friends and he's still as affectionate as ever. Garfield is always following me around the house and wanting to sit on my lap. Even though I've always thought of myself as more of a dog person, this little feline has managed to warm its way into my heart. The only thing that pains me now is how the story will end when I get posted to another station...

Happy anniversary

28 August 2008, the day I arrived to Jeddah. Here I am now, a year later. Still alive, still ploughing on.

I guess you can actually survive here. However, it is tough and nearly impossible if not for the bi-monthly trips home to recharge and maintain my sanity. After spending so much time here, have I learnt to get by? Yes. Get used to this place and understand it? No.

In this world where normal rules do not apply, things still happen that make me take a step back to ponder why some of these people can be so rude, stubborn and thick headed. Other times I take a step back and wonder, why do you have to stand so close to me when you talk? Your breath stinks. You smell like a cow. And no, I do not want to shake your grimy hands. Bugger off.

But its not all bad. With the lack of anything else to do, I find that I exercise more regularly. I also eat healthily (read: bland home cooked food). So at least there is some good coming from this. I think I might also have learnt to be a more patient person. In fact, I've learnt to take things easy and not expect the stressful and brutal efficiency of home. You can't expect a donkey to gallop like a race horse can you?

In the midst of all this, I have also been able to make a new friend! Garfield. Garfield started showing up at my door a few weeks ago. It would always be sitting around my porch when I came back from my run/swim. It seemed to know when I would be back. I don't know why it decided to hang around but it always looked like it wanted to come in. I've decided to buy some cat food so that I can give Garfield a snack whenever it visits. Most of the time it's just happy to sit around and lounge though.

So here I am. Out of place, but exactly where I have to be. Hope there'll be some light at the end of this tunnel. Take care y'all.

Low gear

Blimey! I cannot believe it! Another season of top gear has ended! Only 7 episodes those lazy bums. After an endless wait, they come around and show us 7 episodes of crazy cars and mad adventures and then they vanish?!? Sigh. Sure puts me in a dull mood. Not much left to look forward to as the weeks go by is there?

Then again, I guess this downward spiral into the doom and gloom of being here really begins the moment I step on that aeroplane bound for this hot and dusty wasteland doesn't it? Honestly, ignorance is truly bliss.

The moment I get on board, a nice stewardess will offer me a drink. Usually its champagne but seeing how my system seems to have developed a flea sized tolerance for the bubbly, I opt for some pineapple juice with soda water instead. Then I wonder to myself, should I ask for a beer? I won't get beer in Jeddah. Not the real ones. They have some alcohol free beer crap that even comes in apple or peach flavor. The dim wits are calling these malt/apple/peach sodas "beer"!! Shocking.

But before my internal debate about the beer can finish, another nice stewardess will bring round some magazines and I always help myself to the same few. T3, Top gear magazine, Lux and the national geographic.

Flipping through T3, I will see all the latest gadgets and amazing soon-to-be-released gizmos that would keep me occupied for a while and in some hi-tech way, make my life easier. The latest mobile device that will allow me to watch videos while calling a friend, with one finger typing out an SMS and another finger browsing the world wide web, all while shuffling through my photo collection just by giving the device a slight flick. Or amazing new sunglasses made out of some exotic material from jupiter. Not to forget the 127783 new products from apple that will be launched in 2010. the list goes on and on. Of course this makes me a little bit depressed. Why? BECAUSE I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE OR BUY THESE THINGS WHEN THEY ARE RELEASED COZ BY THE TIME THEY REACH THIS SHIT HOLE, PEOPLE WILL BE TELEPORTING THEMSELVES TO SATURN IN THE YEAR 2140. Wow! see that? I just prophesied that teleportation will be available in 2140.

Anyway, so I'll chuck the T3 mag grumpily and pick up topgear. Good magazine. Nice glossy pictures of fantastic cars with in depth reviews and technical specs. Usually cars that have at least 300 horses and go from 0-100 in less than 5 seconds. Cars that I WON'T GET TO BUY OR DRIVE WHILE I'M HERE COZ ALL I GET IS A TIN CAN HONDA! Sigh.

Toss the topgear mag and move on to Lux magazine. This one's the killer. tempting me with all the beautiful houses and boats and watches and suits. Usually by this point I would go nuts.

But you know what? If I hadn't known any of these gadgets existed. Or that Ferrari was releasing a new replacement for the 430. Or that Breguet was reintroducing a new remake of a beautiful classic watch. I wouldn't be feeling this way. I'd be happy. Happy that I've got a job. Happy that I've got a home. Happy and contented. So next time, I'm not gonna read anymore magazines or go poke around on the world wide marketing web. Ignorance, is bliss.

nothing else compares

Wow! I am actually home pretty early tonight! This rarely happens on a flight day for me. Why? A smooth day at work here is a myth. There is no such thing. You'd have a higher chance of finding the loch ness monster doing the breast stroke in the waters of the bermuda triangle. Yet somehow, here I am, sitting at my computer banging out a new blog post.

The check-in and boarding today went pretty smooth. Of course we'd get the usual bunch of morons who would refuse to queue and walk straight to the front and demand to be checked in. Good thing I've got my trusty big burly bouncer style security guy who is always willing to help me out coz I occasionally give him some ice cream. Bozo (yes his name is really Bozo!) will just come up and point out where the queue starts and that usually solves the problem. One of the numbskulls who refused to queue made a big fuss and started shouting at the counters but finally relented when he realised everyone was staring at him. He went to the back of the queue grudgingly and guess what? When it got to his turn, he realised that he had been queuing at the wrong airline's counters! He walked away angry and red faced to the accompanying chorus of synchronised laughter from all of us. "Ahem! ready guys? Ha Ha Ha Ha HA Ha ha. Ok enough, get back to work." Airline-1 Moron-0.

Boarding was pretty smooth too. Non of the usual drama of passengers playing hide and seek, getting lost in the departure gate's 3 cubicle toilet, falling asleep under the benches, talking to a wrong number on the phone etc etc.... Of course, something had to screw up right? I mean, this is Jeddah! After all the passengers had boarded and all the doors were closed, we were waiting for the pilots to get clearance and push the aircraft back. The ground engineer was standing there with his headphones on, looking pleased that the boarding had finished 15 minutes before the departure time. I was pretty pleased myself. "What a great night!" I thought to myself as I looked up at the black arabian sky when a flutter of frantic movements caught my eye. The captain was waving at me from the cockpit, as if trying to tell me something. I looked at the ground engineer and he was still smiling to himself as if his wife had cooked the best curry in the world earlier in the afternoon for lunch.

"What is the captain trying to say? Is he not talking through your headphones?" The engineer looked puzzled and tapped his headphones. "No sir?" He replied and proceeded to check the jack that was plugged in to the communication port. It wasn't plugged in. "oh sorry sir, its not plugged in"

The pilots could've pushed back ages ago. If only the engineer had plugged in his headphones properly, heard the command and told the tow truck to move. No matter, we still had 10 minutes to spare so the flight went off early still. So thats that. Another day, another dollar. If only every flight were so easy. I wonder what's in store for me tomorrow?

Save the Sharks, save the world

Before you dive into your next bowl of shark's fin soup, think about this. That ridiculously priced asian delicacy of a few tasteless strands of fibre from a shark's fin, cooked in a starchy broth that has a total nutrition value equivalent to a flea, is contributing to the end of the world. Not to mention how low a form of human being you are reducing yourself to by condoning and supporting such a barbaric and cruel industry.


The Shark finning industry is a multi billion dollar industry that is single handedly wiping out the shark population on our planet. Sharks have managed to survive on earth for more than 400 million years. They have always been the guardians of the oceans, regulating the earth's eco-system and helping to maintain a balance in nature. They have survived through the various extinction events that happened throughout the earth's life span, which have wiped out many other species. However, even the sharks might not stand a chance against the worst catastrophe ever to affect the earth. Homo-sapiens.

How can killing off the sharks end the world? Well, its simple really. All living things need oxygen to survive and while you might think that we get all the oxygen we need from the trees and vegetation around us, you're wrong. More than half of the earth's oxygen supply comes from the ocean. More specifically, they come from organisms called phytoplankton that live in the seas and oceans that make up 72% of the earth's surface. These microscopic organisms are also the main food source for a plethora of marine creatures. From fishes that are smaller than your fingertip to the majestic Baleen whale, they all feed on plankton. Now if unchecked, the fishes are gonna eat up all the plankton and our oxygen would be seriously depleted. Our atmosphere would then get more and more saturated with carbon dioxide. Combine that with the other crap that the humans are doing on earth and we're looking at a vicious cycle that starts with global warming and ultimately, the destruction of the planet.

phytoplankton - sustaining life and the planet

Here's where the sharks come in. I'm pretty sure God designed them as a safety system to keep nature in balance. These supreme predators are right at the top of the food chain. They make sure that the life in the ocean is regulated so that there is enough phytoplankton to keep the earth running. Sharks themselves do not get to run amok and over populate. Sharks only reach sexual maturity after 15 yrs and live up to 30-35yrs on the average. Everything was balanced, until we came along.

Now sharks have been hunted to the brink of extinction. The way that they are hunted is cruel and barbaric as well. After getting snared by long baited hooks strung on lines that stretch for kilometers at a time, they are either hauled up or left to suffocate. When the fishermen come around and reel in the lines, the fins of the sharks are hacked off and the finless bodies are thrown back into the water. More often then not, the sharks are still alive as they sink to the bottom of the ocean awaiting a slow and painful death. Imagine having your arms and legs hacked off and then getting thrown into the ocean.


And here's the really appalling part. The scum who hunts sharks will sell the fins to buyers for about a dollar a kilo. The fins will pass through many middlemen and change hands until it reaches your table, where it will cost up to two hundred dollars for a bowl of shark's fin soup. What kind of a monumental moron would you be to pay so much for something that would've cost less than a roll of toilet paper. And by supporting such a demand, you are basically lowering yourself to the same level as the scum who brutally ended the lives of these majestic and beautiful creatures for a quick buck.


Look, my words and pictures here can only say so much. To get the full story and a better idea of what is going on out there, watch the documentary sharkwater (get the DVD or check out youtube) or visit sharkwater.com. And for heaven's sake, say no to shark's fin and lets help bring this industry to an end. Oh and did I mention you'd be saving the planet too?

The power of Menektism

Every now and then, someone will ask me with a puzzled look, "what did you just call your girlfriend?" Well, I called her Menek. We all give endearing nicknames to our loved ones and for Celine, I call her Menek. What exactly is Menek? Well, if you've lived in Singapore long enough and are exposed to the lazy drawly Singaporean way of articulating the English language, you'll come across the evolution of the word "magnet". Menek.

To fully understand the concept, we have to go back to the basics. What is a magnet?

mag⋅net[mag-nit]
–noun
1. a body, as a piece of iron or steel, that possesses the property of attracting certain substances, as iron.
2. a lodestone.
3. a thing or person that attracts: The park was a magnet for couples and families.

So basically, a magnet attracts! I am definitely very attracted to Celine. Thats why she's my girlfriend. But thats not the main reason why I call her Menek. I call Celine Menek coz she's always gravitating to me. During my time in Melbourne, whenever I came home from work, she would be flying from the opposite end of the living room towards me for a bear hug when I've barely stepped in the apartment. When we're walking next to each other while out shopping or strolling, she would constantly bump into me and sometimes get stuck to me and we end up walking like conjoined twins. While watching a movie on the sofa or in a cinema, she would constantly be squeezing closer and closer till we would both fit in one seat. But the ultimate magnetic skill that Celine has is when we turn in for the night.

I've got a big king sized bed and I sleep on one side, while Celine sleeps on the other. Lots of space for the both of us. But somehow, along the course of the night, Celine would somehow creep over to my side slowly. She'd do it in her sleep and before you know it, she'd be right smack next to me and stuck to me like glue. I'd wake up the next morning all squeezed to the edge with her imprint either on my tummy or my back depending which way I was laying. I've prepared a little diagram to illustrate.

So there you have it. Thats how Celine got her nickname Menek. And I love the way she's always stuck to me, like a magnet that never fades.