Blimey! I cannot believe it! Another season of top gear has ended! Only 7 episodes those lazy bums. After an endless wait, they come around and show us 7 episodes of crazy cars and mad adventures and then they vanish?!? Sigh. Sure puts me in a dull mood. Not much left to look forward to as the weeks go by is there?
Then again, I guess this downward spiral into the doom and gloom of being here really begins the moment I step on that aeroplane bound for this hot and dusty wasteland doesn't it? Honestly, ignorance is truly bliss.
The moment I get on board, a nice stewardess will offer me a drink. Usually its champagne but seeing how my system seems to have developed a flea sized tolerance for the bubbly, I opt for some pineapple juice with soda water instead. Then I wonder to myself, should I ask for a beer? I won't get beer in Jeddah. Not the real ones. They have some alcohol free beer crap that even comes in apple or peach flavor. The dim wits are calling these malt/apple/peach sodas "beer"!! Shocking.
But before my internal debate about the beer can finish, another nice stewardess will bring round some magazines and I always help myself to the same few. T3, Top gear magazine, Lux and the national geographic.
Flipping through T3, I will see all the latest gadgets and amazing soon-to-be-released gizmos that would keep me occupied for a while and in some hi-tech way, make my life easier. The latest mobile device that will allow me to watch videos while calling a friend, with one finger typing out an SMS and another finger browsing the world wide web, all while shuffling through my photo collection just by giving the device a slight flick. Or amazing new sunglasses made out of some exotic material from jupiter. Not to forget the 127783 new products from apple that will be launched in 2010. the list goes on and on. Of course this makes me a little bit depressed. Why? BECAUSE I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE OR BUY THESE THINGS WHEN THEY ARE RELEASED COZ BY THE TIME THEY REACH THIS SHIT HOLE, PEOPLE WILL BE TELEPORTING THEMSELVES TO SATURN IN THE YEAR 2140. Wow! see that? I just prophesied that teleportation will be available in 2140.
Anyway, so I'll chuck the T3 mag grumpily and pick up topgear. Good magazine. Nice glossy pictures of fantastic cars with in depth reviews and technical specs. Usually cars that have at least 300 horses and go from 0-100 in less than 5 seconds. Cars that I WON'T GET TO BUY OR DRIVE WHILE I'M HERE COZ ALL I GET IS A TIN CAN HONDA! Sigh.
Toss the topgear mag and move on to Lux magazine. This one's the killer. tempting me with all the beautiful houses and boats and watches and suits. Usually by this point I would go nuts.
But you know what? If I hadn't known any of these gadgets existed. Or that Ferrari was releasing a new replacement for the 430. Or that Breguet was reintroducing a new remake of a beautiful classic watch. I wouldn't be feeling this way. I'd be happy. Happy that I've got a job. Happy that I've got a home. Happy and contented. So next time, I'm not gonna read anymore magazines or go poke around on the world wide marketing web. Ignorance, is bliss.
