Garfield Vs Vader

Hummmm

Are you a fan of shooting hoops and slam dunks? Does basketball course through your veins and in your blood? Do you dream of bashing through wild roads in a macho muscle 4WD machine to get to your favorite bball court? WELL LOOK NO FURTHER coz cult basketball shoes and apparel maker AND1 has teamed up with Hummer to release the limited edition HUMMER H1AND1!


AND1 needs no introduction as a premier brand for basketball shoes and apparel. Famous for decking out athletes with a particular prowess for basketball finesse, they have gone one step further by collaborating with Hummer's popular 4WD vehicle - the H1, to add some fuel guzzling power and creating the ultimate basketball bling machine - the H1AND1.


Show up in one of these babies at your next match and you can be assured that your opponents will go limp and feverish at the sheer sight of its power. Even your fans will cough and gasp in adoration, as if the wind has been sucked out of their lungs. The cheers and screams that you will receive will definitely cause sore throats later and some fans have even been known to suffer from chills, headaches and fatigue just by being near the H1and1. You'll easily crush your opponents as they collapse with respiratory problems.

If Arnold Schwarzenegger had the H1and1 when filming terminator, he'll be saying "I'll be back......with my H1and1 so prepare to die from respiratory failure and high fever". Potent stuff. So what are you waiting for! Go visit your nearest Hummer dealer today and get some H1and1! *Made in Mexico.

Resident Evil Airport

I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. Did I dare venture out of my office? I knew I had to, it was my responsibility to know what was going on before I could plan my next move. Gingerly, I twisted the door knob and stepped quietly into the corridor, my eyes darting left and right to make sure I was safe.

There was a putrid smell in the air. The walls of the corridor were stained with all sorts of filth imaginable. I looked around in the dimly lit corridor to survey the evidence of the mayhem that was in progress. I took quick short breathes to try to calm myself down but the flickering fluorescent tubes were playing on my nerves. Some parts of the corridor were not even lit. I made my way to the staircase and slowly descended, into what seemed like hell.

The whole terminal was swarming with them. They looked vaguely human. With their hollow eyes and discolored teeth, they drag their scrawny frames along in an uncoordinated and zombie-ish movement. Their slimy, skeletal hands clawing at whatever they can grab on to. But its not the way that these "living-dead" moved that was eerie, it was the sounds. The guttural groans and moans that drone out from them could chill you to the bone. The screams of their victims add to the horror that was being played out right in front of my eyes.

I could not stay there for too long. I had to keep moving fast to prevent them from getting me. I dashed out from the stairwell and made a break for the abandoned cafeteria. I could hide from view for a few seconds behind the counter to decide where I could run to next. "Gak...Groagh!" I narrowly missed getting puked on as I athletically leapt over the counter. The disgusting things will spew crap at you from their mouths in a half cough half vomit motion. Best to stay out of reach from that. I tumbled out from my hiding place and scampered for the entrance to the check-in hall. I could see four to five of the monstrosities crouched over a limp man in uniform. He was slumped over and I could barely make out the immigrations uniform before it was all ripped to bits. Nothing could save that man now. I pressed on.

Carefully avoiding the broken glass and ripped luggage bags with their contents strewn all over, I finally arrived to the checkpoint where the security would normally screen passengers and bags. The area was abandoned and I could see the sparks spewing from the trashed X ray machine. There were bits of organic looking lumps splattered all over, whether they used to be human or not I could not tell. What I did know was that the sterile area was breached. The entire terminal had fallen and I no longer knew if my team or even the security personnel were alive. It was hopeless.

Flinging a metal chair at the moaning zombie crawling towards me on my right, I decided that continuing any further would be pointless. I had to find an alternate solution, but more importantly, I had to stay alive and being out here was not helping me at all. In frustration, I smashed another metal chair on the same zombie's face and jumped over it to head back to the safety of my office. I sprinted all the way back to the staircase and up to my office without looking back.

Slamming the door shut, I was about to topple a heavy shelf at the door to barricade it when the door swung open! Was I too slow? I grabbed the nearest chair and was about to use all my might to fling it at whatever was coming through the door when I saw that it was one of my staff!! He was alive!!!

"Boss, aircraft off chocks at 2045. On time."

Great! All is well then. I then proceeded to pack up my bag to head home after another long day at work.

Sleep like an Egyptian

I always knew Garfield had a royal air about him.

D&G

I've been asked time again, what's living with Garfield like? Well, despite all the little complaints I've been posting in this blog about him, he's actually a very lovable and good natured cat. He's well mannered and he doesn't do nightmarish things as described by other cat owners. He pees and poos where he's supposed to and he's always warming my stomach when I'm watching movies.

In fact, I reckon if there's any complaining to be done, it should be by Garfield about me. I'm always listening to music or watching movies at my computer way past his bed time. All the lights are switched on and the sub woofer is always booming. Hardly a conducive environment to snooze. Poor little Garfield has to endure my noise.




Garfield is also a very smart cat. I just found out the other day that he's been using my mac when I'm out at work! He even created a facebook account for himself. Sneaky fella.



All in all, I'm glad I've got him for company here. He's definitely broken the monotony of life in Jeddah. I hope you guys get to meet Garfield one day. I'm sure you guys will love him too. I'll end off here and leave you with a picture of Garfield and I.

A more useful Garfield

This fatty bom bom Garfield is such a lazy bones! All he does is eat and sleep and lounge around all day!


I've had enough! I decided I'd make him more useful around the house so after some tinkering, I now present to you : Garfield Tissue Box Holder!


He doesn't move around much anymore. Maybe he needed all his insides to work properly huh? hmmmm....

Rained in!

Sometimes, it rains in the desert. Very rare, but it happens. In fact, its just once a year I hear. It rained this morning and if you go back to one of my older blog entries, you'll realise that it was roughly about the same time last year that I experienced rain for the first time in this dust bowl.

This time was slightly different though. Instead of a shower for 30 mins or so, it rained for 4 hours. By this country's standards, thats like rain for 40 days and 40 nights straight. Of course, the brilliant town planners, civil engineers and infrastructure builders had all of this well thought out so naturally everything was flooded. Drainage? What is this thing you call drainage? Insha-allah I go pray. It was a bloody catastrophe.

There was water everywhere! Roads were flooded. Pavements were submerged. I could not even get out of my own driveway! I was rained in. Looking out of my window, you'd think I was living in some luxurious water front villa. No, make that a swamp front slum.



I'd probably need a canoe if I wanted to get out of the house at all. Of course I didn't have a canoe. Who the hell would own a canoe in the middle of a desert? I decided to venture out to have a look to see if there was any hope of the water residing so that I could get to work on time. But before I could even step out of my driveway, I heard a gurgling sound and saw something struggling in the water in front of me. What could it be? I quickly waded over and reached out to grab what looked like a little hand! And goodness I was aghast at what I saw. It was.........crap what do you call them? It was one of those........urmmmm......It was an arab child. *shudder* I cannot believe I actually touched it. Plonk! I dropped it back and returned to my house to wash my hands.

broken teacup

Noooooooooo! I broke my teacup! My nice, so simple its cool teacup! This is a catastrophe!!! Sigh....

Ok so its just a teacup. But I hate it when I break something that makes me happy. I love tea and drinking tea from that teacup makes me happy. Some of you might know it. Its the clear glass mug from muji. It slipped from my soapy hands while I was doing the dishes and in slo mo I watched it fall from my hands to the bottom of the sink. It wasn't even a great height but it was enough. With a sickening clang I saw crack lines appear all over the side of the mug. My shrill scream might've caused a few more cracks but it was a goner anyway.

Sickening. Why did they make the glass so brittle anyway? It must be a ploy to get us, gullible consumers, to keep going back to buy more. This is the second one I've owned that's broken by the way. The first one was broken by my housekeeper. You know what I think? They should make 'em with bullet proof glass. Yes! The kind that is used for the car windows on the vehicles of various leaders around the world. Now that would be a good cup.

I could enjoy my tea right in the middle of a gun battle and not worry that my cup would shatter! badabada bang! KA-PWING! KA-PWING! *sips tea* HA! Eat that osama!

Of course, why anyone would choose to sit in the middle of a gun fight sipping tea is beyond me. But thats besides the point. I am vexed at the loss of my teacup. Now I've gotta wait to return to Singapore before I can make my way to Muji to buy another. Maybe I should bubble wrap my next one before I use it. Brilliant.

Spell Czech

Eye love my pea see. Eat calms with many spelling chequers. Ass eye type out my ant trees, eat will clearly marque four my revue duh miss steaks eye kin knot sea oar mist out. Ass soon ass a mist ache is maid, it nose and will in form me so that eye can put duh error rite. Fan test tick.

Garfield

Greetings everyone! As some of you might already know, I've recently adopted a cat here. This little fella started showing up a few weeks ago at my porch. He would always be sitting or lounging around the door when I came back from my swims or runs. I thought he was kinda cute and since he was so friendly, I'd invite him in and give him some food.

Meet Garfield. He's an orange ball of fur with a bushy tail. Since I decided that he could come live with me, we had to do something about his hygiene and health. I personally gave him a bath and promptly sent him to the vet to be groomed and vaccinated. Then I realised something. Garfield is the laziest cat in the world! Ok thats nothing surprising right? Cats have been known to be lazy creatures that enjoy lounging around. But Garfield has a gift. You give him the right sofa to be lazy in and he'll provide all the entertainment you could ask for. For example:

This is how he sleeps normally

This is how he sleeps when he wants to have a different perspective of the world

This is him pretending to be superman

And then there's Garfield pretending to be road kill

Sometimes, he tries to camouflage himself and pretends to be a misplaced feather duster

Even though we've only spent like a week together, we've already developed a pretty good understanding of each other. Garfield knows what time I usually get up and will start meowing for his breakfast around then. He also has a certain style of meowing to indicate to me that he's hungry. Of course, standing next to his food dish gives me a good hint too. He also knows how to show that he's thirsty

Not all has been smooth sailing though and we have had our little arguments. When I refuse to give him any more food or buy him the latest cat toy, he'll sulk and try to be funny by sitting on his sofa facing the wrong direction, refusing to look at me.

Garfield is also a silent killer. He will stealthily sneak up behind you and then let a fart go. And I tell you, his farts are phenomenal stink bombs! And worse of all, they have no sound! By the time you realise, its too late and he'd be sniggering somewhere far away or acting blur (even though there's only 2 of us in the house). Of course I couldn't take this lying down so I got my revenge after dinner one night. 2 cans of coke plus some mutton curry is a great combi to churn up some gastronomical gases. When the time was right, I ran straight up to him and pointed my ass in his face. Before he could realise what I was up to, I let a big one rip.

That sure knocked him out good for a while. But despite all this, we're still the best of friends and he's still as affectionate as ever. Garfield is always following me around the house and wanting to sit on my lap. Even though I've always thought of myself as more of a dog person, this little feline has managed to warm its way into my heart. The only thing that pains me now is how the story will end when I get posted to another station...

Happy anniversary

28 August 2008, the day I arrived to Jeddah. Here I am now, a year later. Still alive, still ploughing on.

I guess you can actually survive here. However, it is tough and nearly impossible if not for the bi-monthly trips home to recharge and maintain my sanity. After spending so much time here, have I learnt to get by? Yes. Get used to this place and understand it? No.

In this world where normal rules do not apply, things still happen that make me take a step back to ponder why some of these people can be so rude, stubborn and thick headed. Other times I take a step back and wonder, why do you have to stand so close to me when you talk? Your breath stinks. You smell like a cow. And no, I do not want to shake your grimy hands. Bugger off.

But its not all bad. With the lack of anything else to do, I find that I exercise more regularly. I also eat healthily (read: bland home cooked food). So at least there is some good coming from this. I think I might also have learnt to be a more patient person. In fact, I've learnt to take things easy and not expect the stressful and brutal efficiency of home. You can't expect a donkey to gallop like a race horse can you?

In the midst of all this, I have also been able to make a new friend! Garfield. Garfield started showing up at my door a few weeks ago. It would always be sitting around my porch when I came back from my run/swim. It seemed to know when I would be back. I don't know why it decided to hang around but it always looked like it wanted to come in. I've decided to buy some cat food so that I can give Garfield a snack whenever it visits. Most of the time it's just happy to sit around and lounge though.

So here I am. Out of place, but exactly where I have to be. Hope there'll be some light at the end of this tunnel. Take care y'all.

Low gear

Blimey! I cannot believe it! Another season of top gear has ended! Only 7 episodes those lazy bums. After an endless wait, they come around and show us 7 episodes of crazy cars and mad adventures and then they vanish?!? Sigh. Sure puts me in a dull mood. Not much left to look forward to as the weeks go by is there?

Then again, I guess this downward spiral into the doom and gloom of being here really begins the moment I step on that aeroplane bound for this hot and dusty wasteland doesn't it? Honestly, ignorance is truly bliss.

The moment I get on board, a nice stewardess will offer me a drink. Usually its champagne but seeing how my system seems to have developed a flea sized tolerance for the bubbly, I opt for some pineapple juice with soda water instead. Then I wonder to myself, should I ask for a beer? I won't get beer in Jeddah. Not the real ones. They have some alcohol free beer crap that even comes in apple or peach flavor. The dim wits are calling these malt/apple/peach sodas "beer"!! Shocking.

But before my internal debate about the beer can finish, another nice stewardess will bring round some magazines and I always help myself to the same few. T3, Top gear magazine, Lux and the national geographic.

Flipping through T3, I will see all the latest gadgets and amazing soon-to-be-released gizmos that would keep me occupied for a while and in some hi-tech way, make my life easier. The latest mobile device that will allow me to watch videos while calling a friend, with one finger typing out an SMS and another finger browsing the world wide web, all while shuffling through my photo collection just by giving the device a slight flick. Or amazing new sunglasses made out of some exotic material from jupiter. Not to forget the 127783 new products from apple that will be launched in 2010. the list goes on and on. Of course this makes me a little bit depressed. Why? BECAUSE I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE OR BUY THESE THINGS WHEN THEY ARE RELEASED COZ BY THE TIME THEY REACH THIS SHIT HOLE, PEOPLE WILL BE TELEPORTING THEMSELVES TO SATURN IN THE YEAR 2140. Wow! see that? I just prophesied that teleportation will be available in 2140.

Anyway, so I'll chuck the T3 mag grumpily and pick up topgear. Good magazine. Nice glossy pictures of fantastic cars with in depth reviews and technical specs. Usually cars that have at least 300 horses and go from 0-100 in less than 5 seconds. Cars that I WON'T GET TO BUY OR DRIVE WHILE I'M HERE COZ ALL I GET IS A TIN CAN HONDA! Sigh.

Toss the topgear mag and move on to Lux magazine. This one's the killer. tempting me with all the beautiful houses and boats and watches and suits. Usually by this point I would go nuts.

But you know what? If I hadn't known any of these gadgets existed. Or that Ferrari was releasing a new replacement for the 430. Or that Breguet was reintroducing a new remake of a beautiful classic watch. I wouldn't be feeling this way. I'd be happy. Happy that I've got a job. Happy that I've got a home. Happy and contented. So next time, I'm not gonna read anymore magazines or go poke around on the world wide marketing web. Ignorance, is bliss.

nothing else compares

Wow! I am actually home pretty early tonight! This rarely happens on a flight day for me. Why? A smooth day at work here is a myth. There is no such thing. You'd have a higher chance of finding the loch ness monster doing the breast stroke in the waters of the bermuda triangle. Yet somehow, here I am, sitting at my computer banging out a new blog post.

The check-in and boarding today went pretty smooth. Of course we'd get the usual bunch of morons who would refuse to queue and walk straight to the front and demand to be checked in. Good thing I've got my trusty big burly bouncer style security guy who is always willing to help me out coz I occasionally give him some ice cream. Bozo (yes his name is really Bozo!) will just come up and point out where the queue starts and that usually solves the problem. One of the numbskulls who refused to queue made a big fuss and started shouting at the counters but finally relented when he realised everyone was staring at him. He went to the back of the queue grudgingly and guess what? When it got to his turn, he realised that he had been queuing at the wrong airline's counters! He walked away angry and red faced to the accompanying chorus of synchronised laughter from all of us. "Ahem! ready guys? Ha Ha Ha Ha HA Ha ha. Ok enough, get back to work." Airline-1 Moron-0.

Boarding was pretty smooth too. Non of the usual drama of passengers playing hide and seek, getting lost in the departure gate's 3 cubicle toilet, falling asleep under the benches, talking to a wrong number on the phone etc etc.... Of course, something had to screw up right? I mean, this is Jeddah! After all the passengers had boarded and all the doors were closed, we were waiting for the pilots to get clearance and push the aircraft back. The ground engineer was standing there with his headphones on, looking pleased that the boarding had finished 15 minutes before the departure time. I was pretty pleased myself. "What a great night!" I thought to myself as I looked up at the black arabian sky when a flutter of frantic movements caught my eye. The captain was waving at me from the cockpit, as if trying to tell me something. I looked at the ground engineer and he was still smiling to himself as if his wife had cooked the best curry in the world earlier in the afternoon for lunch.

"What is the captain trying to say? Is he not talking through your headphones?" The engineer looked puzzled and tapped his headphones. "No sir?" He replied and proceeded to check the jack that was plugged in to the communication port. It wasn't plugged in. "oh sorry sir, its not plugged in"

The pilots could've pushed back ages ago. If only the engineer had plugged in his headphones properly, heard the command and told the tow truck to move. No matter, we still had 10 minutes to spare so the flight went off early still. So thats that. Another day, another dollar. If only every flight were so easy. I wonder what's in store for me tomorrow?

Save the Sharks, save the world

Before you dive into your next bowl of shark's fin soup, think about this. That ridiculously priced asian delicacy of a few tasteless strands of fibre from a shark's fin, cooked in a starchy broth that has a total nutrition value equivalent to a flea, is contributing to the end of the world. Not to mention how low a form of human being you are reducing yourself to by condoning and supporting such a barbaric and cruel industry.


The Shark finning industry is a multi billion dollar industry that is single handedly wiping out the shark population on our planet. Sharks have managed to survive on earth for more than 400 million years. They have always been the guardians of the oceans, regulating the earth's eco-system and helping to maintain a balance in nature. They have survived through the various extinction events that happened throughout the earth's life span, which have wiped out many other species. However, even the sharks might not stand a chance against the worst catastrophe ever to affect the earth. Homo-sapiens.

How can killing off the sharks end the world? Well, its simple really. All living things need oxygen to survive and while you might think that we get all the oxygen we need from the trees and vegetation around us, you're wrong. More than half of the earth's oxygen supply comes from the ocean. More specifically, they come from organisms called phytoplankton that live in the seas and oceans that make up 72% of the earth's surface. These microscopic organisms are also the main food source for a plethora of marine creatures. From fishes that are smaller than your fingertip to the majestic Baleen whale, they all feed on plankton. Now if unchecked, the fishes are gonna eat up all the plankton and our oxygen would be seriously depleted. Our atmosphere would then get more and more saturated with carbon dioxide. Combine that with the other crap that the humans are doing on earth and we're looking at a vicious cycle that starts with global warming and ultimately, the destruction of the planet.

phytoplankton - sustaining life and the planet

Here's where the sharks come in. I'm pretty sure God designed them as a safety system to keep nature in balance. These supreme predators are right at the top of the food chain. They make sure that the life in the ocean is regulated so that there is enough phytoplankton to keep the earth running. Sharks themselves do not get to run amok and over populate. Sharks only reach sexual maturity after 15 yrs and live up to 30-35yrs on the average. Everything was balanced, until we came along.

Now sharks have been hunted to the brink of extinction. The way that they are hunted is cruel and barbaric as well. After getting snared by long baited hooks strung on lines that stretch for kilometers at a time, they are either hauled up or left to suffocate. When the fishermen come around and reel in the lines, the fins of the sharks are hacked off and the finless bodies are thrown back into the water. More often then not, the sharks are still alive as they sink to the bottom of the ocean awaiting a slow and painful death. Imagine having your arms and legs hacked off and then getting thrown into the ocean.


And here's the really appalling part. The scum who hunts sharks will sell the fins to buyers for about a dollar a kilo. The fins will pass through many middlemen and change hands until it reaches your table, where it will cost up to two hundred dollars for a bowl of shark's fin soup. What kind of a monumental moron would you be to pay so much for something that would've cost less than a roll of toilet paper. And by supporting such a demand, you are basically lowering yourself to the same level as the scum who brutally ended the lives of these majestic and beautiful creatures for a quick buck.


Look, my words and pictures here can only say so much. To get the full story and a better idea of what is going on out there, watch the documentary sharkwater (get the DVD or check out youtube) or visit sharkwater.com. And for heaven's sake, say no to shark's fin and lets help bring this industry to an end. Oh and did I mention you'd be saving the planet too?

The power of Menektism

Every now and then, someone will ask me with a puzzled look, "what did you just call your girlfriend?" Well, I called her Menek. We all give endearing nicknames to our loved ones and for Celine, I call her Menek. What exactly is Menek? Well, if you've lived in Singapore long enough and are exposed to the lazy drawly Singaporean way of articulating the English language, you'll come across the evolution of the word "magnet". Menek.

To fully understand the concept, we have to go back to the basics. What is a magnet?

mag⋅net[mag-nit]
–noun
1. a body, as a piece of iron or steel, that possesses the property of attracting certain substances, as iron.
2. a lodestone.
3. a thing or person that attracts: The park was a magnet for couples and families.

So basically, a magnet attracts! I am definitely very attracted to Celine. Thats why she's my girlfriend. But thats not the main reason why I call her Menek. I call Celine Menek coz she's always gravitating to me. During my time in Melbourne, whenever I came home from work, she would be flying from the opposite end of the living room towards me for a bear hug when I've barely stepped in the apartment. When we're walking next to each other while out shopping or strolling, she would constantly bump into me and sometimes get stuck to me and we end up walking like conjoined twins. While watching a movie on the sofa or in a cinema, she would constantly be squeezing closer and closer till we would both fit in one seat. But the ultimate magnetic skill that Celine has is when we turn in for the night.

I've got a big king sized bed and I sleep on one side, while Celine sleeps on the other. Lots of space for the both of us. But somehow, along the course of the night, Celine would somehow creep over to my side slowly. She'd do it in her sleep and before you know it, she'd be right smack next to me and stuck to me like glue. I'd wake up the next morning all squeezed to the edge with her imprint either on my tummy or my back depending which way I was laying. I've prepared a little diagram to illustrate.

So there you have it. Thats how Celine got her nickname Menek. And I love the way she's always stuck to me, like a magnet that never fades.

Amber and me

So its another off-day gone by in Jeddah and as usual I've watched some movies on the computer to pass the time and stay sane. Today it was Marley and me. The show made me tear, and I normally don't cry at the movies. The world's worst dog but in actual fact the greatest dog huh? Hahaha, sounds very much like Amber when I had her. Amber was a siberian husky that was part of my family for about 2 years.

She was the most beautiful dog I had ever seen. Piercing white eyes. A proud and commanding stance. A big bushy tail that curled up against her back. And she had natural eyeliner too! Amber was always a curious dog who loved exploring and would bolt for the main gate whenever it opened. That was why we always had to keep her on a leash in the day time, until my dad decided to build an inner gate that closed up the side of my house for her to roam free.

Amber also had a really cool personality. She was friendly and would come over to say hi to everyone who looked in her direction. But she never barks. Even when we went for our walks and the other dogs in the neighborhood went berserk, creating a cacophony of deafening barking and screeching, Amber would be as cool as a cucumber. She'd just look around and wonder what the commotion was about, her head and tail always held high with confidence. In fact, the only noises she made were a short bark when she wanted some attention and a hilarious "singing"/howling sound when she's upset. There's even a name given to this funny whiney howl - ululation. Some call it yowling. And the two things that made her upset? Thunder and a ringing phone.

She would howl and tremble whenever there was lightning and thunder. Times like these we would let her into the house to sleep and sometimes when I came home late on a stormy night, I would just sit down next to her and tell her its alright and then rub her tummy till she fell asleep. In the day time if the phone rang and no one answered, she would run around the house yowling as if trying to tell us that someone had better pick up the phone if not she would pull it right out of the socket.

Amber had tremendous strength. I remember the time when I leashed her to a big sturdy bench in my garden while I prepared to go for a run. The main gate was open and this cat had the guts to stroll slowly across the open driveway. The moment Amber set her eyes on the cat, all hell broke loose. She bolted and took the entire bench along with her. The dragging bench tore out a trail of grass and soil in the garden as Amber tried to pounce on the cat. I was tying my shoe laces and was almost knocked out by the flying bench. The cat let out a screech and ran off. I never saw the cat again.

Even Celine would get exhausted holding on to Amber's leash when we took her out for walks. I would be so amused at how Amber was pulling Celine around, rather than Celine leading her where we were supposed to go. I'm glad Amber got to meet my darling Celine. They got along so well that when I came back from Melbourne each time, I could've sworn that Amber was more happy to see Celine than she was to see me!

And the highlight of Amber's evenings? Our runs together. We would go for long runs from my house, to the SIA training center and then round the Singapore expo before coming back. It was like an adventure for her and she would run along next to me without ever breaking a sweat. Pedestrians along the walkways would sometimes get freaked out at the sight of man and dog charging towards them. I used to enjoy seeing the terror in their eyes before they jumped off the pavement and into the grass. After the run we would sit next to each other in the garden to watch the birds fly by. Another thing she loved was her chew toy. This pink colored dolphin that she would chew up and invite us to try to pull and pry from her jaws of steel. Sometimes we could get it out, but only with a lot of cunning and trickery.

Yes, I've written everything in past tense. Thats because she is no longer with us. My beautiful dog was hit by a car a year ago. Right around the end of March in 2008. Her energy and adventurous spirit got the better of her and she bolted out of the house one morning when the maid forgot to latch the inner gate. I didn't even get to say goodbye as I was in Melbourne at that time. It was very difficult for me. Now that I think of it, its quite a coincidence that I decided to watch Marley and me today, and be reminded of Amber. Its the anniversary of her passing. She's gone to a better place now, where she has endless open fields to run, play and explore.

I miss you Amber. And I hope to see you again one day. You really were the world's greatest dog to me. Rest in peace my dear, dear friend.

somebody call 911!

I watch a lot of TV serials. Every week, my life revolves around a few episodes of TV shows that I download off the internet. Its one of the few things that help me move time along as I count the days before I get my next station. I also seem to be particularly drawn to medical dramas. I really enjoy watching grey's anatomy, house and private practice. But there's something that I've noticed from watching these shows that really bugs me. Why in the world does someone always rush and bend over the person who's collapsed or injured and then yell "Somebody call 911!"

Do it yourself you dim wit. The 3 seconds that you wasted yelling that out might be the crucial 3 seconds the patient needs to stay alive. The next 3 minutes of confusion from the people registering that urgent cry and wondering who should be calling is enough to seal the fate of the poor person sprawled on the ground. Duh.

Ok, I'm just bored and grumpy that I've watched my week's supply of shows and need to wait for the next batch to download. Somebody save me!

The most stressful night ever

I hosted a buffet dinner last night. It was an annual event for my ground handling agents. It went well and everyone went home happy. Except me. While making my way home from the remote location of the chalet, I GOT LOST! The road I was on suddenly forked into 2 different directions without me knowing and of course, I was on the wrong one. Damn the dark roads and crappy road signs!

There were no immediate U turns as it was a freeway and none of the exit road names were familiar to me. I had no bloody idea where I was heading! Why did this have to happen to me?? And why are all the road signs in arabic and not illuminated?! Driving along in my car, I was very anxious and very stressed. My stomach felt like it was rearranging itself in figure-of-eight knots. My chest was tight and I couldn't breathe properly. I was really in the shits then. Visions of a rusted out honda civic with a skeleton still grabbing the steering wheel tightly in the middle of the desert floated in my head. NOOOOoooooooo!

So what did I do? Pray of course! I prayed and prayed and prayed and asked God to save me. Gosh I must've been chattering like a monkey on steroids. The next thing I knew, there was a blinding white flash and BAM! my car landed in my driveway! Ok actually no, but how cool would it be if it did happen that way huh? What really happened was I decided to get off the freeway and turned off at the next exit. I drove anxiously for a while more along "Al-Badouin Mohammmed dunno what sandy armpits mussi mussi road" and by the grace of God, I saw a familiar landmark! IKEA!

I've only been to IKEA once here and it was enough for me to know that if i continued on for a bit, I would be able to get on another freeway that would take me home. THANK YOU GOD!!! Somehow the exit that I took blindly turned out to be the right one. People would say lucky but I say it was all God's hand. Soon I was chugging home and singing along to my Christian CD blasting out of my car's speakers.

Thank you lord for getting me out of this. You've protected me and saved me so many times. Thank you for sending your angels to guide me home. Amen.

boiling blood

Oh GOD! WHHHHYYYYYY????

Getting tech support at my place of work is a gut wrenching experience. The people I deal with have no bloody clue about what to do! They are only good for pointing the blame at others. They just refuse to admit that they are ill equipped and should not even hold that position in the first place. Its more pleasant to ask for help from a camel's ass while its farting and its tail is slapping your face. These people redefined the phrase "vomit blood". What is wrong with this country?!!

If only i could summon burning hail stones from the heavens. It would come in handy.

Aural pleasure

After a blissful 10 days back in Singapore, I am back in the dessert. Now usually when I'm out here, I have nothing to spend on except food. The shopping here is not to my taste and well, I fear for my life enough to stop me from venturing out to explore the shopping districts.

In Singapore though, its a different story! I pamper myself with gadgets and items that make me happy. And why not? You gotta perk yourself up every now and then. So this time round, I picked up a pair of sweeeet sounding earphones from Shure. These babies sound amazing and they block out all external noises at the same time! That leaves your ears with nothing but uninterrupted sound from your music machines.

I remember on one of my previous flights back to Singapore, I had a mother sitting across the row from me with her infant next to her. My feeble iPod earphones did nothing to block out the baby's wailing. Coldplay's "God put a smile upon my face" was being diluted with a huge dose of "waaaaaaaaah" and it wasn't coming from Chris Martin. I definitely didn't have a smile upon my face. I was contemplating executing either one of two options. Jam the baby's mouth with the amenity kit I was provided with or ask to be moved to economy class. Of course I did neither but an article in the gadget magazine I was reading caught my eye amid the agonizing cries. Noise isolating earphones! What an ingenious idea! So the moment I touched down, I researched and decided on the Shure SE530.



On my plane ride back this time, I was set. All you mommies with cry babies / loud talking arabs / no volume control china men, I am ready for you! I will shut you out on the airplane and enjoy my music! But there were none of them on the plane. Instead, I did not hear the stewardesses asking me if I wanted another drink. The captain's announcements were shut out as well. Hell, I couldn't even hear the passenger next to me when he asked if it was ok if he closed the window shades. All I heard were the full, rich sounds from coldplay, angels & airwaves and the like. These earphones made it feel like the bands themselves were having a concert in my head. Amazing! The audiophile in me was deeply impressed.

Bottom line is, dump the iPod earphones and invest in a good pair. They make a world of difference in terms of the sound quality. Even better if it has a sound isolation feature. Its portable aural bliss wherever you are.

rain rain go away

It rained yesterday! Such a rare occurrence in these parts. Good thing it was my off day and I was safe and snug at home. Safe from the flooded roads that turn saudi drivers and their cars into air hockey pucks. Safe from the big angry drops that pick up all the sand in the air while making its way into the ground.

But as with all things Saudi, something had to go wrong. My internet stopped working. The little blinking modem light that usually indicated some connection or activity wasn't blinking anymore. I could not email, I could not MSN, I could not download stuff or surf the web. I could not do anything. It was the nightmare of all nightmares. As if being here wasn't mind blowingly boring enough, I had to be here without an internet connection.

I frantically brought up my web browser and typed in the address to my internet service provider. I needed the number for the technical help desk. "YOU ARE NOT CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET" my smug macintosh computer reminded me with the words splashed across a pristine white blank screen. Bugger. A flaw in the plan. I started to break out in cold sweat. My fingers were twitching and my upper lip was quivering.

I was desperate so I called my colleague. "DO YOU USE MOBILY INTERNET?!!?!?" I screamed into the phone. "No I don't have internet at home" he replied, in a calm and composed tone as if he was not weird at all for not having an internet connection at his residence. "Why? you need mobily internet?" he asked. I told him that I only needed the technical help number and that he was a useless bugger for this situation. But he actually came up with an answer! "try calling 1100. Its the mobily help desk for our mobiles" Thats right! My cellular connection is by the same company too! This might actually work.

Gingerly I keyed in 1100 into the keypad and listened to some weird grunting on the other end before a menu in English came up. Option 3 was for mobily broadband customers! I could see the light at the end of the tunnel! I greeted the technical arab help guy cheerfully and asked him if there was a problem with the network.

"Yes"

ok? what was the problem? would you like to share Mr arab help guy?

"wee tar"

Did you just call me a retard?

"wee tar! wee tar! you know? rain rain"

Ohhhhh weather! Ok I see I see. So when it rains? I lose my internet?

"Yes"

You guys are such a great establishment. Marvelous. So I will get my internet back when the rain stops?

"Yes, insha-allah"

Oh crap, the dreaded "I" word again. Directly translated, it means "if God willing" I've worked here long enough to know that when you ask for something and they tell you insha-allah, you're better off waiting for an elephant to climb a tree to shit on my face. So in Saudi Arabia, your internet connection is dependent on weather and God.

Thank God (my God, not the other one) the rain stopped and the internet connection returned soon after. If not I wouldn't be able to sit here and tell you how amazing Saudi Arabia is.

How's your new year been so far?

Wow, a new year. 2009 already. How time flies. Did everyone have a good countdown? Big parties and lots of merry making? My new year's eve started with a bang. Quite a loud and painful one too I might add. Stumbling out of bed at 5am to switch off the alarm clock that I had placed at the far corner of the room (so that I would be forced out of bed) I crashed my knee straight into the corner of the TV bench. That sure woke me up good. Groaning I switched off the alarm and trudged to the bathroom to get ready for work. Getting up at this unGodly hour for work on new year's eve! Atrocious.

I had a special chartered flight to take care off that morning you see. Monumental pain in the ass if you asked me. And the worse thing is I'd have to stay all the way till around 10pm after my normal scheduled flight leaves. It was gonna be a 16 hr work day for me and I wasn't looking forward to it. But hunker on I did and by the time I got home at around 1030pm, I was knackered. No worries though, its not like I had any big party or celebration I had to rush to. In this part of the world, they don't celebrate the welcoming of a new year. Pretty much the same way they don't celebrate Christmas. I dunno, a new year must be against their religion too or something.

So as 1159pm became midnight, signifying the arrival of the first second of 2009 to tick by, I was already snoozing in bed.... but not for long. The bloody phone blasted me out of lala land and the voice on the other end informed me that the aircraft that left my station a few hours ago could not land due to bad fog at the destination airport and had diverted. So much for a happy new year. Ok, so what do you want me to do? Run there now with a giant fan and blow the fog away? No, they needed some info on the loadsheet so that the aircraft could get clearance to take off from the diversion airport. Sigh, time to get to work again. When it was all settled and I finally crawled back into bed, it was 4:30am. Thats the time people usually crawl into bed after a big new year's party. Bugger.

New year's day did not bode well for me either. Because of that diverted aircraft, the crew's hours got all messed up and my scheduled flight would be arriving 4 hours late! 4 hours! What in the world am I gonna do with this rabid group of passengers who are so keen on leaving the country? Sorry sir, I have to prolong your agony by keeping you here for another 4 hours. Please try not to die on me. I had to arrange for dinner for everyone so I went to the airport restaurant manager's office.

"I need to get some dinner happening please"
"ok, how many people?"
"I dunno. Not everyone may wanna eat. Can you just serve the meals and then we will pay for the number that was dished out?"
"No"
"why not?"
"The cook must know how many people to cook for"
"you know exactly how many people will eat here before you open your restaurant everyday?"
"No"
"then?"
"my cook will only prepare the amount you need"
"well i hope your cook is like Jesus coz it could be 5 or it could be 5000"
"ok I will ask him to make 200"
"yeah ok whatever"

In the end 148 people ate. The evening went on with me apologising to many for the delay and asking if they had a good dinner. When the flight finally took off at 1:10 in the morning, the first day of 2009 was already gone, never to return again. What a start to the new year. I pray that this is not a sign of things to come.

Have a great year ahead everyone.