She said Yes!

Greetings Y'all!

Now, some of you might already know, I am ENGAGED! No, not in the way where you can't get me on the telephone. Engaged in the way where the love of my life has agreed to marry me! Woooo, marriage. Such a big, grown up word. Shocking how time flies and I have reached the point where I decide to spend the rest of my life with someone special.

The relationship has been fantastic and I knew it was time to take it up a notch. So some time back, I decided that I was gonna propose. However, as with any proposal, I had to go get a nice shiny rock first. Which makes me wonder, who the hell started this tradition of proposing with a diamond anyway? I sure would like to meet him to discuss this trend in a boxing ring.

Anyway traditions aside, I looked around and had my eyes glittered to the point where everything I saw had a fuzzy shimmer. People, cars, birds, the bird shit on my car - all shimmering. But I did find the right stone. Looking at it through a loupe was like being transported into a kaleidoscope of brilliant colors from dispersed light, trapped in crystal. Of course this was no mere crystal, it was a diamond. A precious stoned formed by immense pressure over a long period of time, consisting of a clear and colorless crystalline of pure carbon. The hardest naturally occurring substance in the world. Although, with the astronomical price of the diamond, I wondered if it was even from this world. "You sure its not some alien carbon from Jupiter?" I asked as I handed over my money. Ka-Ching!

Well, I got the diamond set and then kept it nicely in my safe for a while. Then on Celine's birthday, it hit me! It was like an angel was whispering into my ear. Actually it was Garfield meowing at me to feed him even though it wasn't his meal time, but somewhere in my heart, I felt that it was time to propose.

And so after dinner, we went back to her place and just when she was resting her eyes, I whipped out the ring and popped the question. Celine went from droopy eyed sleepy head to wide awake dinner plate eyes. The look of shock and surprise told me that I had caught her off guard. She got over it quickly and ecstatically shouted YES! We must've hugged and laughed for at least 27 mins before she scampered off to tell her family the news. Garfield looked at her ring and then meowed for food. Obviously not a fan of sparkly things.

So that's it. I am engaged to Celine and this is my happy ever after. Just wanted to share this happy moment with you people who read my blog and I hope that sometime soon, I'll be posting pictures of the wedding! So stay tuned, take care and God bless!

Rotten apple

Ok, I know that lots of people know me to be a huge advocate for apple and the mac, but I'm gonna go ahead and say this. The iPhone sucks. Big time. Apple has made a rotten piece of shit. What the hell were they thinking?

Now before the millions of you out there who are loving your iPhones start spitting and hissing at me, I have to say that I love my iPhone too. But I am just so sorely disappointed and frustrated at it! Its a love/hate relationship and apple should really get a big knock on their heads for screwing this one up. Apple has always come up with great, user-friendly and well thought out products so I wonder why they couldn't do the same with the iPhone.

Let me just state for the record that the iPhone is a fantastic piece of hardware and technology. The gorgeous 3.5 inch screen, the amazing multi-touch interface, fantastic crisp sound and the list goes on. Its no wonder its so desirable and has become a huge money making machine for Apple. But why oh why have they screwed up on some basic fundamental features? Simple things that you'd expect to do on your mobile phone has become a chore on the iPhone. Some are even impossible! Let me list out my main gripes.

1) Ringtones. What is up with the ringtones? Why do I have to use the crappy ringtones that come with the iPhone? They suck. I want to use my own ringtones or mp3s! What's the point of having those amazing little speakers on the phone that blast out clear crisp sounds when we are limited to the crap that's loaded in the iphone? Ok, fine, I know we can purchase custom ringtones from iTunes. Why would I want to spend money on ringtones?? Ok, I know I can make my own ringtones from my collection of mp3s, but its a troublesome and tedious process and I AM LIMITED TO 30 seconds for my ringtone?!? So say I have this fantastic tune from coldplay that I want to use as my ringtone. Previously, all I had to do in my sony ericsson was load the mp3 in the phone and then select it as a ring tone. I could listen to the entire song play out as I make the caller wait for me to pick up. Now with the iPhone, I have to choose which 30sec portion of the song is my favorite, convert that 30 second portion into a ringtone and then load it into the iPhone. 30 seconds!! Crap.

2) Alarm. Ok, the alarm gripe is pretty much the same as the ringtone problem. Coz the sounds for the alarm come from the same list as the ringtones. Again, I WANT TO USE MY OWN SOUND FOR MY ALARM!

3) Bluetooth. This technology known as bluetooth is really a marvel. Wireless data transmission. Fantastic. With my sony ericsson, I could use it to zap data (pictures, sounds, contacts etc..) to other phones or to my computer. I could also use it as a remote control if I wanted. And of course it works great for my bluetooth earpiece when I'm driving. With the iPhone, all its bluetooth can do is connect with a bluetooth headset. Nothing else. What the hell? Did apple just put in this amazing cutting edge technology, only to dumb it down to one function?? How stupid is that?

4) Battery life. What good would a smartphone be if it were dead all the time? The battery can barely last a day! How efficient and productive will you be when all you're doing all day is trying to find a power outlet or USB port to charge your iPhone? Scrolling through my contact list....*blip* it dies. Sending an email.....*blip* it dies. Surfing the internet to see where I can buy a new phone that works....*blip* it dies. You get the idea.

5) Data connections. Wow! The iPhone comes with 3G, EDGE and GPRS to ensure that you're always connected for data! Well, what if I DON'T WANT to be connected? What if I don't like paying for unknown usage of data?? when I click on "turn off 3G" it automatically jumps to EDGE or GPRS. Why aren't there options to turn off EDGE and GPRS as well? This sneaky iPhone is always sending and receiving data somehow. Its like some kind of secret spy sending out info about where I am and what I'm doing. I want to be able to shut down the data connections! Again, there are ways. But why can't apple just make it simple?

Now I ask myself, why. Why did I decide to swap away my slim and simple sony ericsson that just works, for this bulky heavy brick that infuriates me? WHY?

The airline from hell

I had the unfortunate predicament of having to take an SV (saudi arabian airlines) flight from Riyadh to Jeddah recently. I won't go into the details of how that came to be, but just know that this short one hour and twenty minute flight was the worst one hour and twenty minutes in my entire flying life.

Let's begin with the check-in at Riyadh airport. I joined the line and when it came to my turn, I gave the check-in agent my passport. "No passport. Domestic flight" grunted the guy behind the counter. Oh! Silly me! My bad. So I proceeded to inform him of my flight number and I gave him my family name (the passport would help to show my details wouldn't it?) "Give me ticket" Ticket?! Wait a minute, its an E-Ticket and as far as I know, E-Tickets are electronically stored in the system and required no physical ticket. Hence the name E-Ticket. I told him it was an E Ticket and therefore I had no ticket to show him. He gave me a frustrated look and waved me aside. I was flabbergasted. Thats it? I'm out? I'm not gonna fly? I hurriedly whipped out my laptop (OH I HATE MY COMPANY LAPTOP AND I HATE WINDOWS), turned it on at the counter and dug out the email that had the E-Ticket confirmation and number in it. With that, the guy finally stopped using his fingers to pick his nose and proceeded to type some entries on the keyboard. Mental note to self - never touch the keyboards at the check-in counters. Finally, the check-in agent handed me a flimsy boarding pass and grunted for the next guy in line to step up.

Right, moving on. I headed to the boarding gates and realised that the boarding gate number was printed in arabic on my boarding pass. Good thing I could read arabic numerals. Not very good for people who don't read arabic huh? "Excuse me, can you tell me what gate my flight is departing from?" asked a chinese guy in a suit. I glanced at his boarding pass and noticed he was on the same flight as me. "gate 36 buddy" I replied. Why would he ask me though? Did I look like I could read arabic?

About 15 minutes later, the flight started boarding at gate 36 and the announcer went on and on in arabic. His announcement must have went on for a good 12 minutes at least. I wonder what he was saying? I hope its not about a delay or something? Finally he grunted "SV1069 now boarding at gate 36." And that was it. Are you sure you're not hiding something from me?

After getting nudged around by saudis rushing to board the aircraft, I found my seat and settled in. The aircraft was configured in a 2-5-2 seating arrangement. Guess which seat I got? The ogre at the check-in counter had put me right smack in the center seat in the center block. Yes, the 3rd seat in the 5 seat section. Bloody punk. Sigh, its just a one hour twenty minute flight, how bad can it be right? That positive thought went up in smoke the moment two obese saudis squeezed in on either side of me. How the hell they fitted their gargantuan asses in the seats eludes me. I was miserable. How the hell do you get so fat in the desert in the first place?

The aircraft shudders and soon we're airborne. Surprisingly enough, the cabin crew roll out the meal carts. I didn't think there'd be a meal service on such a short sector. I wonder what's for supper? "Lamb or fish?" I hear the stewardess call out as she goes row by row handing out trays of food. I thought to myself, hmmm I'll have the fish. Fish has always been the safer choice in my experience. When it came to my row, I was all prepared to say "FISH!" but the stewardess didn't ask me if I wanted lamb or fish, she just handed me a tray. You don't have to be Einstein to know why. They've run out of choices. What luck. I gingerly peeled open the foil and how LUCKY! it was lamb. Argh. Well, not actually lamb as it turns out coz when I bit into it, I realised that it was really bits of rubber tyre from a cement mixer truck. Eating the rice that accompanied the rubber was like eating bits of plastic shavings. I decided not to try the peas. On my left and right, Al Obeseo and Gigantor were guzzling the industrial waste of a meal down their throats. Do they even chew? They gave me a horrified look when the stewardess cleared my untouched tray of food. Another stewardess was walking down the other aisle saying "coffee tea?" Although, she wasn't really saying it to anyone. Rather, what she was doing was walking quickly while holding a pot in each hand and saying "coffee tea?" to the space above our heads. Her blank look and hurried steps prevented anyone from getting any coffee or tea. I even saw one passenger waving his cup and trying to grab her arm but to no avail.

Suddenly, the captain comes over the PA system and goes on and on in arabic. No one seemed to be paying attention but then he spoke in English and said, "We are starting our descent into Jeddah" That was music to my ears! The nightmare will be over soon! The cabin crew cleared up all the trays and were soon strapped in for the landing. I nearly wanted to punch my hands in the air and scream Hallelujah when the aircraft touched down on the tarmac and rolled to a stop at the parking bay. I would be out of this shit hole soon!

I disembarked the aircraft and was soon exiting the JED airport. I had made it.

So to conclude, if someone came up to me and said, "Hey Darren, here's a free ticket to go fly on SV!", I would kick that guy in the guts and pound him into the ground. Never. I would rather fall down a flight of steps. Head first. While chewing a mouthful of rusted nails. With durians stuffed under my clothes. And wearing inline skates. Period.

Garfield is in Singapore

I did it! I have successfully orchestrated the migration of our furry little friend, Garfield, to Singapore! Despite all the messy applications and payments and permits, I managed to wrangle everything into place and fly Garfield to Singapore. I have rescued him from being a stray in this shitty place! Unfortunately, poor little Garfield is stuck in quarantine right now. He's gotta do 30 days of time in a little room the size of a toilet cubicle. I hope he'll enjoy living with Celine in Singapore and won't mind the humidity when he gets out.

Well, after a week in Singapore, I'm now back in Jeddah again and suddenly the house here feels so empty and cold without Garfield. I didn't think I would miss him that much but I do! No furball meowing to be fed or rubbing himself against my legs while I blog. No snoozy cat warming my stomach as I watch movies on my computer. I actually miss patting his little fuzzy head as he head butts my hand in acknowledgement.

I hope he's doing alright in his quarantine room. I sure miss him now that I'm back in Jeddah, but I'm glad I've rescued him and will be able to give him a good life from now on. Can't wait to see him again and collect him from the quarantine centre to bring him home. In the mean time, here's what I'm using to bring a little Garfield into my life in Jeddah.

Garfield Vs Vader

Hummmm

Are you a fan of shooting hoops and slam dunks? Does basketball course through your veins and in your blood? Do you dream of bashing through wild roads in a macho muscle 4WD machine to get to your favorite bball court? WELL LOOK NO FURTHER coz cult basketball shoes and apparel maker AND1 has teamed up with Hummer to release the limited edition HUMMER H1AND1!


AND1 needs no introduction as a premier brand for basketball shoes and apparel. Famous for decking out athletes with a particular prowess for basketball finesse, they have gone one step further by collaborating with Hummer's popular 4WD vehicle - the H1, to add some fuel guzzling power and creating the ultimate basketball bling machine - the H1AND1.


Show up in one of these babies at your next match and you can be assured that your opponents will go limp and feverish at the sheer sight of its power. Even your fans will cough and gasp in adoration, as if the wind has been sucked out of their lungs. The cheers and screams that you will receive will definitely cause sore throats later and some fans have even been known to suffer from chills, headaches and fatigue just by being near the H1and1. You'll easily crush your opponents as they collapse with respiratory problems.

If Arnold Schwarzenegger had the H1and1 when filming terminator, he'll be saying "I'll be back......with my H1and1 so prepare to die from respiratory failure and high fever". Potent stuff. So what are you waiting for! Go visit your nearest Hummer dealer today and get some H1and1! *Made in Mexico.

Resident Evil Airport

I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. Did I dare venture out of my office? I knew I had to, it was my responsibility to know what was going on before I could plan my next move. Gingerly, I twisted the door knob and stepped quietly into the corridor, my eyes darting left and right to make sure I was safe.

There was a putrid smell in the air. The walls of the corridor were stained with all sorts of filth imaginable. I looked around in the dimly lit corridor to survey the evidence of the mayhem that was in progress. I took quick short breathes to try to calm myself down but the flickering fluorescent tubes were playing on my nerves. Some parts of the corridor were not even lit. I made my way to the staircase and slowly descended, into what seemed like hell.

The whole terminal was swarming with them. They looked vaguely human. With their hollow eyes and discolored teeth, they drag their scrawny frames along in an uncoordinated and zombie-ish movement. Their slimy, skeletal hands clawing at whatever they can grab on to. But its not the way that these "living-dead" moved that was eerie, it was the sounds. The guttural groans and moans that drone out from them could chill you to the bone. The screams of their victims add to the horror that was being played out right in front of my eyes.

I could not stay there for too long. I had to keep moving fast to prevent them from getting me. I dashed out from the stairwell and made a break for the abandoned cafeteria. I could hide from view for a few seconds behind the counter to decide where I could run to next. "Gak...Groagh!" I narrowly missed getting puked on as I athletically leapt over the counter. The disgusting things will spew crap at you from their mouths in a half cough half vomit motion. Best to stay out of reach from that. I tumbled out from my hiding place and scampered for the entrance to the check-in hall. I could see four to five of the monstrosities crouched over a limp man in uniform. He was slumped over and I could barely make out the immigrations uniform before it was all ripped to bits. Nothing could save that man now. I pressed on.

Carefully avoiding the broken glass and ripped luggage bags with their contents strewn all over, I finally arrived to the checkpoint where the security would normally screen passengers and bags. The area was abandoned and I could see the sparks spewing from the trashed X ray machine. There were bits of organic looking lumps splattered all over, whether they used to be human or not I could not tell. What I did know was that the sterile area was breached. The entire terminal had fallen and I no longer knew if my team or even the security personnel were alive. It was hopeless.

Flinging a metal chair at the moaning zombie crawling towards me on my right, I decided that continuing any further would be pointless. I had to find an alternate solution, but more importantly, I had to stay alive and being out here was not helping me at all. In frustration, I smashed another metal chair on the same zombie's face and jumped over it to head back to the safety of my office. I sprinted all the way back to the staircase and up to my office without looking back.

Slamming the door shut, I was about to topple a heavy shelf at the door to barricade it when the door swung open! Was I too slow? I grabbed the nearest chair and was about to use all my might to fling it at whatever was coming through the door when I saw that it was one of my staff!! He was alive!!!

"Boss, aircraft off chocks at 2045. On time."

Great! All is well then. I then proceeded to pack up my bag to head home after another long day at work.

Sleep like an Egyptian

I always knew Garfield had a royal air about him.

D&G

I've been asked time again, what's living with Garfield like? Well, despite all the little complaints I've been posting in this blog about him, he's actually a very lovable and good natured cat. He's well mannered and he doesn't do nightmarish things as described by other cat owners. He pees and poos where he's supposed to and he's always warming my stomach when I'm watching movies.

In fact, I reckon if there's any complaining to be done, it should be by Garfield about me. I'm always listening to music or watching movies at my computer way past his bed time. All the lights are switched on and the sub woofer is always booming. Hardly a conducive environment to snooze. Poor little Garfield has to endure my noise.




Garfield is also a very smart cat. I just found out the other day that he's been using my mac when I'm out at work! He even created a facebook account for himself. Sneaky fella.



All in all, I'm glad I've got him for company here. He's definitely broken the monotony of life in Jeddah. I hope you guys get to meet Garfield one day. I'm sure you guys will love him too. I'll end off here and leave you with a picture of Garfield and I.

A more useful Garfield

This fatty bom bom Garfield is such a lazy bones! All he does is eat and sleep and lounge around all day!


I've had enough! I decided I'd make him more useful around the house so after some tinkering, I now present to you : Garfield Tissue Box Holder!


He doesn't move around much anymore. Maybe he needed all his insides to work properly huh? hmmmm....

Rained in!

Sometimes, it rains in the desert. Very rare, but it happens. In fact, its just once a year I hear. It rained this morning and if you go back to one of my older blog entries, you'll realise that it was roughly about the same time last year that I experienced rain for the first time in this dust bowl.

This time was slightly different though. Instead of a shower for 30 mins or so, it rained for 4 hours. By this country's standards, thats like rain for 40 days and 40 nights straight. Of course, the brilliant town planners, civil engineers and infrastructure builders had all of this well thought out so naturally everything was flooded. Drainage? What is this thing you call drainage? Insha-allah I go pray. It was a bloody catastrophe.

There was water everywhere! Roads were flooded. Pavements were submerged. I could not even get out of my own driveway! I was rained in. Looking out of my window, you'd think I was living in some luxurious water front villa. No, make that a swamp front slum.



I'd probably need a canoe if I wanted to get out of the house at all. Of course I didn't have a canoe. Who the hell would own a canoe in the middle of a desert? I decided to venture out to have a look to see if there was any hope of the water residing so that I could get to work on time. But before I could even step out of my driveway, I heard a gurgling sound and saw something struggling in the water in front of me. What could it be? I quickly waded over and reached out to grab what looked like a little hand! And goodness I was aghast at what I saw. It was.........crap what do you call them? It was one of those........urmmmm......It was an arab child. *shudder* I cannot believe I actually touched it. Plonk! I dropped it back and returned to my house to wash my hands.

broken teacup

Noooooooooo! I broke my teacup! My nice, so simple its cool teacup! This is a catastrophe!!! Sigh....

Ok so its just a teacup. But I hate it when I break something that makes me happy. I love tea and drinking tea from that teacup makes me happy. Some of you might know it. Its the clear glass mug from muji. It slipped from my soapy hands while I was doing the dishes and in slo mo I watched it fall from my hands to the bottom of the sink. It wasn't even a great height but it was enough. With a sickening clang I saw crack lines appear all over the side of the mug. My shrill scream might've caused a few more cracks but it was a goner anyway.

Sickening. Why did they make the glass so brittle anyway? It must be a ploy to get us, gullible consumers, to keep going back to buy more. This is the second one I've owned that's broken by the way. The first one was broken by my housekeeper. You know what I think? They should make 'em with bullet proof glass. Yes! The kind that is used for the car windows on the vehicles of various leaders around the world. Now that would be a good cup.

I could enjoy my tea right in the middle of a gun battle and not worry that my cup would shatter! badabada bang! KA-PWING! KA-PWING! *sips tea* HA! Eat that osama!

Of course, why anyone would choose to sit in the middle of a gun fight sipping tea is beyond me. But thats besides the point. I am vexed at the loss of my teacup. Now I've gotta wait to return to Singapore before I can make my way to Muji to buy another. Maybe I should bubble wrap my next one before I use it. Brilliant.

Spell Czech

Eye love my pea see. Eat calms with many spelling chequers. Ass eye type out my ant trees, eat will clearly marque four my revue duh miss steaks eye kin knot sea oar mist out. Ass soon ass a mist ache is maid, it nose and will in form me so that eye can put duh error rite. Fan test tick.

Garfield

Greetings everyone! As some of you might already know, I've recently adopted a cat here. This little fella started showing up a few weeks ago at my porch. He would always be sitting or lounging around the door when I came back from my swims or runs. I thought he was kinda cute and since he was so friendly, I'd invite him in and give him some food.

Meet Garfield. He's an orange ball of fur with a bushy tail. Since I decided that he could come live with me, we had to do something about his hygiene and health. I personally gave him a bath and promptly sent him to the vet to be groomed and vaccinated. Then I realised something. Garfield is the laziest cat in the world! Ok thats nothing surprising right? Cats have been known to be lazy creatures that enjoy lounging around. But Garfield has a gift. You give him the right sofa to be lazy in and he'll provide all the entertainment you could ask for. For example:

This is how he sleeps normally

This is how he sleeps when he wants to have a different perspective of the world

This is him pretending to be superman

And then there's Garfield pretending to be road kill

Sometimes, he tries to camouflage himself and pretends to be a misplaced feather duster

Even though we've only spent like a week together, we've already developed a pretty good understanding of each other. Garfield knows what time I usually get up and will start meowing for his breakfast around then. He also has a certain style of meowing to indicate to me that he's hungry. Of course, standing next to his food dish gives me a good hint too. He also knows how to show that he's thirsty

Not all has been smooth sailing though and we have had our little arguments. When I refuse to give him any more food or buy him the latest cat toy, he'll sulk and try to be funny by sitting on his sofa facing the wrong direction, refusing to look at me.

Garfield is also a silent killer. He will stealthily sneak up behind you and then let a fart go. And I tell you, his farts are phenomenal stink bombs! And worse of all, they have no sound! By the time you realise, its too late and he'd be sniggering somewhere far away or acting blur (even though there's only 2 of us in the house). Of course I couldn't take this lying down so I got my revenge after dinner one night. 2 cans of coke plus some mutton curry is a great combi to churn up some gastronomical gases. When the time was right, I ran straight up to him and pointed my ass in his face. Before he could realise what I was up to, I let a big one rip.

That sure knocked him out good for a while. But despite all this, we're still the best of friends and he's still as affectionate as ever. Garfield is always following me around the house and wanting to sit on my lap. Even though I've always thought of myself as more of a dog person, this little feline has managed to warm its way into my heart. The only thing that pains me now is how the story will end when I get posted to another station...

Happy anniversary

28 August 2008, the day I arrived to Jeddah. Here I am now, a year later. Still alive, still ploughing on.

I guess you can actually survive here. However, it is tough and nearly impossible if not for the bi-monthly trips home to recharge and maintain my sanity. After spending so much time here, have I learnt to get by? Yes. Get used to this place and understand it? No.

In this world where normal rules do not apply, things still happen that make me take a step back to ponder why some of these people can be so rude, stubborn and thick headed. Other times I take a step back and wonder, why do you have to stand so close to me when you talk? Your breath stinks. You smell like a cow. And no, I do not want to shake your grimy hands. Bugger off.

But its not all bad. With the lack of anything else to do, I find that I exercise more regularly. I also eat healthily (read: bland home cooked food). So at least there is some good coming from this. I think I might also have learnt to be a more patient person. In fact, I've learnt to take things easy and not expect the stressful and brutal efficiency of home. You can't expect a donkey to gallop like a race horse can you?

In the midst of all this, I have also been able to make a new friend! Garfield. Garfield started showing up at my door a few weeks ago. It would always be sitting around my porch when I came back from my run/swim. It seemed to know when I would be back. I don't know why it decided to hang around but it always looked like it wanted to come in. I've decided to buy some cat food so that I can give Garfield a snack whenever it visits. Most of the time it's just happy to sit around and lounge though.

So here I am. Out of place, but exactly where I have to be. Hope there'll be some light at the end of this tunnel. Take care y'all.

Low gear

Blimey! I cannot believe it! Another season of top gear has ended! Only 7 episodes those lazy bums. After an endless wait, they come around and show us 7 episodes of crazy cars and mad adventures and then they vanish?!? Sigh. Sure puts me in a dull mood. Not much left to look forward to as the weeks go by is there?

Then again, I guess this downward spiral into the doom and gloom of being here really begins the moment I step on that aeroplane bound for this hot and dusty wasteland doesn't it? Honestly, ignorance is truly bliss.

The moment I get on board, a nice stewardess will offer me a drink. Usually its champagne but seeing how my system seems to have developed a flea sized tolerance for the bubbly, I opt for some pineapple juice with soda water instead. Then I wonder to myself, should I ask for a beer? I won't get beer in Jeddah. Not the real ones. They have some alcohol free beer crap that even comes in apple or peach flavor. The dim wits are calling these malt/apple/peach sodas "beer"!! Shocking.

But before my internal debate about the beer can finish, another nice stewardess will bring round some magazines and I always help myself to the same few. T3, Top gear magazine, Lux and the national geographic.

Flipping through T3, I will see all the latest gadgets and amazing soon-to-be-released gizmos that would keep me occupied for a while and in some hi-tech way, make my life easier. The latest mobile device that will allow me to watch videos while calling a friend, with one finger typing out an SMS and another finger browsing the world wide web, all while shuffling through my photo collection just by giving the device a slight flick. Or amazing new sunglasses made out of some exotic material from jupiter. Not to forget the 127783 new products from apple that will be launched in 2010. the list goes on and on. Of course this makes me a little bit depressed. Why? BECAUSE I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE OR BUY THESE THINGS WHEN THEY ARE RELEASED COZ BY THE TIME THEY REACH THIS SHIT HOLE, PEOPLE WILL BE TELEPORTING THEMSELVES TO SATURN IN THE YEAR 2140. Wow! see that? I just prophesied that teleportation will be available in 2140.

Anyway, so I'll chuck the T3 mag grumpily and pick up topgear. Good magazine. Nice glossy pictures of fantastic cars with in depth reviews and technical specs. Usually cars that have at least 300 horses and go from 0-100 in less than 5 seconds. Cars that I WON'T GET TO BUY OR DRIVE WHILE I'M HERE COZ ALL I GET IS A TIN CAN HONDA! Sigh.

Toss the topgear mag and move on to Lux magazine. This one's the killer. tempting me with all the beautiful houses and boats and watches and suits. Usually by this point I would go nuts.

But you know what? If I hadn't known any of these gadgets existed. Or that Ferrari was releasing a new replacement for the 430. Or that Breguet was reintroducing a new remake of a beautiful classic watch. I wouldn't be feeling this way. I'd be happy. Happy that I've got a job. Happy that I've got a home. Happy and contented. So next time, I'm not gonna read anymore magazines or go poke around on the world wide marketing web. Ignorance, is bliss.

nothing else compares

Wow! I am actually home pretty early tonight! This rarely happens on a flight day for me. Why? A smooth day at work here is a myth. There is no such thing. You'd have a higher chance of finding the loch ness monster doing the breast stroke in the waters of the bermuda triangle. Yet somehow, here I am, sitting at my computer banging out a new blog post.

The check-in and boarding today went pretty smooth. Of course we'd get the usual bunch of morons who would refuse to queue and walk straight to the front and demand to be checked in. Good thing I've got my trusty big burly bouncer style security guy who is always willing to help me out coz I occasionally give him some ice cream. Bozo (yes his name is really Bozo!) will just come up and point out where the queue starts and that usually solves the problem. One of the numbskulls who refused to queue made a big fuss and started shouting at the counters but finally relented when he realised everyone was staring at him. He went to the back of the queue grudgingly and guess what? When it got to his turn, he realised that he had been queuing at the wrong airline's counters! He walked away angry and red faced to the accompanying chorus of synchronised laughter from all of us. "Ahem! ready guys? Ha Ha Ha Ha HA Ha ha. Ok enough, get back to work." Airline-1 Moron-0.

Boarding was pretty smooth too. Non of the usual drama of passengers playing hide and seek, getting lost in the departure gate's 3 cubicle toilet, falling asleep under the benches, talking to a wrong number on the phone etc etc.... Of course, something had to screw up right? I mean, this is Jeddah! After all the passengers had boarded and all the doors were closed, we were waiting for the pilots to get clearance and push the aircraft back. The ground engineer was standing there with his headphones on, looking pleased that the boarding had finished 15 minutes before the departure time. I was pretty pleased myself. "What a great night!" I thought to myself as I looked up at the black arabian sky when a flutter of frantic movements caught my eye. The captain was waving at me from the cockpit, as if trying to tell me something. I looked at the ground engineer and he was still smiling to himself as if his wife had cooked the best curry in the world earlier in the afternoon for lunch.

"What is the captain trying to say? Is he not talking through your headphones?" The engineer looked puzzled and tapped his headphones. "No sir?" He replied and proceeded to check the jack that was plugged in to the communication port. It wasn't plugged in. "oh sorry sir, its not plugged in"

The pilots could've pushed back ages ago. If only the engineer had plugged in his headphones properly, heard the command and told the tow truck to move. No matter, we still had 10 minutes to spare so the flight went off early still. So thats that. Another day, another dollar. If only every flight were so easy. I wonder what's in store for me tomorrow?

Save the Sharks, save the world

Before you dive into your next bowl of shark's fin soup, think about this. That ridiculously priced asian delicacy of a few tasteless strands of fibre from a shark's fin, cooked in a starchy broth that has a total nutrition value equivalent to a flea, is contributing to the end of the world. Not to mention how low a form of human being you are reducing yourself to by condoning and supporting such a barbaric and cruel industry.


The Shark finning industry is a multi billion dollar industry that is single handedly wiping out the shark population on our planet. Sharks have managed to survive on earth for more than 400 million years. They have always been the guardians of the oceans, regulating the earth's eco-system and helping to maintain a balance in nature. They have survived through the various extinction events that happened throughout the earth's life span, which have wiped out many other species. However, even the sharks might not stand a chance against the worst catastrophe ever to affect the earth. Homo-sapiens.

How can killing off the sharks end the world? Well, its simple really. All living things need oxygen to survive and while you might think that we get all the oxygen we need from the trees and vegetation around us, you're wrong. More than half of the earth's oxygen supply comes from the ocean. More specifically, they come from organisms called phytoplankton that live in the seas and oceans that make up 72% of the earth's surface. These microscopic organisms are also the main food source for a plethora of marine creatures. From fishes that are smaller than your fingertip to the majestic Baleen whale, they all feed on plankton. Now if unchecked, the fishes are gonna eat up all the plankton and our oxygen would be seriously depleted. Our atmosphere would then get more and more saturated with carbon dioxide. Combine that with the other crap that the humans are doing on earth and we're looking at a vicious cycle that starts with global warming and ultimately, the destruction of the planet.

phytoplankton - sustaining life and the planet

Here's where the sharks come in. I'm pretty sure God designed them as a safety system to keep nature in balance. These supreme predators are right at the top of the food chain. They make sure that the life in the ocean is regulated so that there is enough phytoplankton to keep the earth running. Sharks themselves do not get to run amok and over populate. Sharks only reach sexual maturity after 15 yrs and live up to 30-35yrs on the average. Everything was balanced, until we came along.

Now sharks have been hunted to the brink of extinction. The way that they are hunted is cruel and barbaric as well. After getting snared by long baited hooks strung on lines that stretch for kilometers at a time, they are either hauled up or left to suffocate. When the fishermen come around and reel in the lines, the fins of the sharks are hacked off and the finless bodies are thrown back into the water. More often then not, the sharks are still alive as they sink to the bottom of the ocean awaiting a slow and painful death. Imagine having your arms and legs hacked off and then getting thrown into the ocean.


And here's the really appalling part. The scum who hunts sharks will sell the fins to buyers for about a dollar a kilo. The fins will pass through many middlemen and change hands until it reaches your table, where it will cost up to two hundred dollars for a bowl of shark's fin soup. What kind of a monumental moron would you be to pay so much for something that would've cost less than a roll of toilet paper. And by supporting such a demand, you are basically lowering yourself to the same level as the scum who brutally ended the lives of these majestic and beautiful creatures for a quick buck.


Look, my words and pictures here can only say so much. To get the full story and a better idea of what is going on out there, watch the documentary sharkwater (get the DVD or check out youtube) or visit sharkwater.com. And for heaven's sake, say no to shark's fin and lets help bring this industry to an end. Oh and did I mention you'd be saving the planet too?

The power of Menektism

Every now and then, someone will ask me with a puzzled look, "what did you just call your girlfriend?" Well, I called her Menek. We all give endearing nicknames to our loved ones and for Celine, I call her Menek. What exactly is Menek? Well, if you've lived in Singapore long enough and are exposed to the lazy drawly Singaporean way of articulating the English language, you'll come across the evolution of the word "magnet". Menek.

To fully understand the concept, we have to go back to the basics. What is a magnet?

mag⋅net[mag-nit]
–noun
1. a body, as a piece of iron or steel, that possesses the property of attracting certain substances, as iron.
2. a lodestone.
3. a thing or person that attracts: The park was a magnet for couples and families.

So basically, a magnet attracts! I am definitely very attracted to Celine. Thats why she's my girlfriend. But thats not the main reason why I call her Menek. I call Celine Menek coz she's always gravitating to me. During my time in Melbourne, whenever I came home from work, she would be flying from the opposite end of the living room towards me for a bear hug when I've barely stepped in the apartment. When we're walking next to each other while out shopping or strolling, she would constantly bump into me and sometimes get stuck to me and we end up walking like conjoined twins. While watching a movie on the sofa or in a cinema, she would constantly be squeezing closer and closer till we would both fit in one seat. But the ultimate magnetic skill that Celine has is when we turn in for the night.

I've got a big king sized bed and I sleep on one side, while Celine sleeps on the other. Lots of space for the both of us. But somehow, along the course of the night, Celine would somehow creep over to my side slowly. She'd do it in her sleep and before you know it, she'd be right smack next to me and stuck to me like glue. I'd wake up the next morning all squeezed to the edge with her imprint either on my tummy or my back depending which way I was laying. I've prepared a little diagram to illustrate.

So there you have it. Thats how Celine got her nickname Menek. And I love the way she's always stuck to me, like a magnet that never fades.

Amber and me

So its another off-day gone by in Jeddah and as usual I've watched some movies on the computer to pass the time and stay sane. Today it was Marley and me. The show made me tear, and I normally don't cry at the movies. The world's worst dog but in actual fact the greatest dog huh? Hahaha, sounds very much like Amber when I had her. Amber was a siberian husky that was part of my family for about 2 years.

She was the most beautiful dog I had ever seen. Piercing white eyes. A proud and commanding stance. A big bushy tail that curled up against her back. And she had natural eyeliner too! Amber was always a curious dog who loved exploring and would bolt for the main gate whenever it opened. That was why we always had to keep her on a leash in the day time, until my dad decided to build an inner gate that closed up the side of my house for her to roam free.

Amber also had a really cool personality. She was friendly and would come over to say hi to everyone who looked in her direction. But she never barks. Even when we went for our walks and the other dogs in the neighborhood went berserk, creating a cacophony of deafening barking and screeching, Amber would be as cool as a cucumber. She'd just look around and wonder what the commotion was about, her head and tail always held high with confidence. In fact, the only noises she made were a short bark when she wanted some attention and a hilarious "singing"/howling sound when she's upset. There's even a name given to this funny whiney howl - ululation. Some call it yowling. And the two things that made her upset? Thunder and a ringing phone.

She would howl and tremble whenever there was lightning and thunder. Times like these we would let her into the house to sleep and sometimes when I came home late on a stormy night, I would just sit down next to her and tell her its alright and then rub her tummy till she fell asleep. In the day time if the phone rang and no one answered, she would run around the house yowling as if trying to tell us that someone had better pick up the phone if not she would pull it right out of the socket.

Amber had tremendous strength. I remember the time when I leashed her to a big sturdy bench in my garden while I prepared to go for a run. The main gate was open and this cat had the guts to stroll slowly across the open driveway. The moment Amber set her eyes on the cat, all hell broke loose. She bolted and took the entire bench along with her. The dragging bench tore out a trail of grass and soil in the garden as Amber tried to pounce on the cat. I was tying my shoe laces and was almost knocked out by the flying bench. The cat let out a screech and ran off. I never saw the cat again.

Even Celine would get exhausted holding on to Amber's leash when we took her out for walks. I would be so amused at how Amber was pulling Celine around, rather than Celine leading her where we were supposed to go. I'm glad Amber got to meet my darling Celine. They got along so well that when I came back from Melbourne each time, I could've sworn that Amber was more happy to see Celine than she was to see me!

And the highlight of Amber's evenings? Our runs together. We would go for long runs from my house, to the SIA training center and then round the Singapore expo before coming back. It was like an adventure for her and she would run along next to me without ever breaking a sweat. Pedestrians along the walkways would sometimes get freaked out at the sight of man and dog charging towards them. I used to enjoy seeing the terror in their eyes before they jumped off the pavement and into the grass. After the run we would sit next to each other in the garden to watch the birds fly by. Another thing she loved was her chew toy. This pink colored dolphin that she would chew up and invite us to try to pull and pry from her jaws of steel. Sometimes we could get it out, but only with a lot of cunning and trickery.

Yes, I've written everything in past tense. Thats because she is no longer with us. My beautiful dog was hit by a car a year ago. Right around the end of March in 2008. Her energy and adventurous spirit got the better of her and she bolted out of the house one morning when the maid forgot to latch the inner gate. I didn't even get to say goodbye as I was in Melbourne at that time. It was very difficult for me. Now that I think of it, its quite a coincidence that I decided to watch Marley and me today, and be reminded of Amber. Its the anniversary of her passing. She's gone to a better place now, where she has endless open fields to run, play and explore.

I miss you Amber. And I hope to see you again one day. You really were the world's greatest dog to me. Rest in peace my dear, dear friend.