I had the misfortune of having the television set switched on at around 11:37pm yesterday and right after the episode of "without a trace", channel 5 ran a little trailer showcasing some contestants fighting for a spot in the finals in the second season of Singapore Idol. Pick up your phones and vote NOW! YOU get to CHOOSE who enters the finals!.....Blared my TV set. And then the horror began. You know how it is when there's an inexplicably ugly or horrid freakish creature in a cage at those weird carnivals, and even though you knew you'd feel sick looking at it but you just had to sneak a peek? Well, my neck muscles twitched and instinctively turned my head towards the TV screen. I watched the snippets of the contestants singing and grooving to the songs. Well, I think they were singing, or at least trying to sing. And no, there was no groove at all. These are the people that our judges have filtered out and come up with?
And then it hit me. The nauseous feeling right from the pits of my gut. The half a pint of Ben & Jerry's phish food, half a bag of tapioca chips and a can of coke that I had guzzled down during "without a trace" started to churn within me as if some delicate chemical balance had been upset. "Why is this happening?" I wondered to myself. My junk food always went down well no matter what the conditions were. What's different this time round? I analysed the situation, trying to figure out a differential diagnosis.
The Idol jingle at the end of the commercial sparked of a giant halogen lamp on top of my head, shedding light on my query. Singapore Idol was making me sick. Just watching those people perform made my guts cringe. Why do they even bother? It was total rubbish and sickeningly abysmal. What good could come out of such a horrid program?
Gosh if a short teaser like this could make me almost throw up my yummies, what would a full hour long episode do?! Aha! catch my drift? See where this is heading? The Great Singapore Idol Diet! Simple. Just watch it during dinner (its around dinner time anyway) and TADA! everything will come straight out and no extra calories for the night! In fact, endure your hunger during dinner time and wait for the show to start! You'll lose your appetite straight away. Problem solved and no vomiting required. For those going for a more extreme solution, you can record it and play it back during various meal times or when you feel hungry. Don't overdo it though coz you still need to feed your body to maintain normal body functions. And the best thing is, you get a fresh dose every week in case you start to get used to the current prescription! Brilliant!
So go forth and take advantage of this great diet programme and you'll be losing the kilos in no time! No charge for this one. Later!
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