Uno Big Mac Menu por favor

Hola!

Not bad eh? I can ask for a big mac meal in Spanish! I will not go hungry in Spain!! Or will I?

It all began one sunny afternoon on my second last day in Jeddah. After two years in Saudi Arabia, I managed to accumulate about eight thousand Saudi riyals in cash. With the money tucked neatly into an inconspicuous unlabeled envelope, I asked one of my colleagues to bring me to a money changer in town.

So after bargaining for a good rate and handing over the Riyals in exchange for Euros, I received three crisp 500€ notes, one pristine 100€ note and three 20€ notes. Brilliant!

Fast forward to a week ago. After being in Barcelona for about 2 weeks, my 100€ note and 20€ notes have been used. I was left with the three 500€ notes that I kept in the special compartment in my wallet, always kept safely and close to me as pick pocketing is rampant in Spain. I was hungry. It was lunch time. So what did I do? I popped over to the MacDonalds near my house and keen to order a big mac meal like a local, I said chirpily, " Uno big mac menu por favor? ". That just means one big mac meal please. The girl behind the counter replied with a barrage of Spanish that made no sense to me at all! I was dumbfounded. "UH...."

She then proceeded to point at the options for the meal. Did I want special waffle fries? Or just the normal french fries? Did I want a softdrink, wine or beer? ( Yes you can choose wine or beer for the drink in your meal for the same price!!! Is that fantastic or what?? ) So I nodded like a retard and my patata fritas (french fries) and coca cola ( coca cola ) were keyed in to go along with my big mac. And the damage? 6.15€. Sure thing! So I whipped out my wallet from my super secure storage compartment of my bag and handed over the first of my 500€ notes.

The girl behind the counter froze. She looked like I was trying to rob her. Funny thing was, I wasn't. I was trying to give her money. Not ask for money. Maybe they pay in a different way here in Spain. "No no no no (enter rapid spanish gibberish mambo jambo here)" I didn't have a clue what she was saying. But I had an inkling that it had something to do with my 500€ note. Maybe she didn't have change? At that moment, the manager came out and spoke to me in broken English. She informed me that they were not allowed to take such big notes as 1. they did not have change and 2. they had no way to verify if it was a genuine note.

I was hungry. I had 1500€ in my wallet. But no one would sell me something to eat. Bemused, I left MacDonalds and went home to eat a muesli bar and some fruit.

Going to work the next day, I recounted my experience to my colleagues and they laughed. Apparently, the 500€ is so rare that people rarely see it in day to day transactions. Furthermore, no places would accept this note unless they were selling big ticket items. Such places would usually have some kind of device to check the authenticity of the note. On hind sight, if it were in Singapore, what I did would be like going to MacDonalds for a big mac meal and handing the cashier a 1000 dollar note. Probably wouldn't work back home too huh? Eventually, I went to a bank in the airport and broke the 500€ note into 100s and 50s. I had my big mac meal after that.