Lost

I had a really long and intense conversation with my best friend just now. And the things that we talked about really shook me up real good. It was very emotional and pretty much a revelation for me. The sad thing is, for it to be a revelation, I must've been a class-A idiot. Things about myself, my life, me. Things that I have never bothered to examine before just because I never thought it required any attention.

But it has become apparent to me that I am in need of a lot of work. The very core of my being, the essence of my existance needs an overhaul. I need to change the life I am so used to living. My actions, my thoughts, my attitude needs a metamorphic change.

There is so much at risk. And I may not be able to bear the losses. it effects everything. Family, loved ones, all my friends of old, current and even the future. but change does not come easily for me. Its in my nature and it will be a great battle that won't be easy to fight but impossible to walk away from. I pray that i will not be alone through this. I pray that God will not forsake me, but keep me strong no matter what happens in the end.