Wednesday morning strip

Home is where the heart is?

Its been a while since I've been back to Singapore. Now that I'm done with my degree, I can head on home. Going back to Singapore is usually exciting and something I look forward to. This time round, its a little bit different though. I feel like I'm gonna return feeling lost and empty.

Life's gonna be different now. Sure, my family, friends and the great food will still be around, but its just not the same anymore. No more dates with Eunice and waking up to her messages on my phone. No more late night suppers and driving to CCK before kissing her goodnight. (no more driving to CCK!!! wooo hoooo!!!!)

What about my friends? I feel so detached though. Everyone's just in their own worlds. Jialing's ocuppied with work and wedding preperations. It still upsets me that I'm going to miss her wedding. She's been a great friend since I have no idea when. I can always depend on her for companionship and honesty, even if it pisses me off sometimes. I'm glad she's marrying Adrian, he's a top bloke. Then there's Geri, always around with words of support and encouragement. Always an attentive listener when I need someone to talk to. But she's a big girl now, chasing her dreams and careers. Sure miss the good old times of Mahjong, playstation, long drives and east coast beef soup.

Melissa's still a great friend even though she's an ex. Hi EX! She's still a bubble head though, and heaps of fun. I hear you've been losing a lot of weight. Don't need to work so hard man. Justin, You've been through a tough year too man. And yet you can still remain your usual cheerful and supportive self. You've always been a great guy to hang around and do fun stuff with. I hope the working world hasn't changed you too much. Not forgetting Zhenni. Though you always look like you're gonna kill me, I know that under it all you're a sweet and dependable friend. I hope all goes well with your job and Christopher.

Shane, are you there buddy? Though we always briefly appear in each other's life in recent years, I know you're a brudder for life man. You still crack me up with your wit and facial expressions. We gotta catch up in Singapore. JOHN! you've disappeared once again. You're a great buddy, but at the same time you're always up to something. Hope all's well with you. And finally Ashley. I don't meet up wih you as much as I'd like to. but somehow I know that you'll always be around when I need you. Come over to use my powermac whenever you need man. Just remember to give me royalties when your productions make it big.

My singapore gang rocks. Its sad that I've been on a totally different continent during these exciting tansitions and moments in life. I feel like I've missed out on a big part and even though I'm heading back soon, I don't know if I'll be able to catch up.

One thing though, I've made peace with my situation. I know it'll work out. Eunice and I will still be friends coz 11 years of friendship shouldn't just disappear like this. Things are different now, but it'll be fine.

I know there are heaps more friends that I didn't mention, and I haven't forgotten you guys. Believe me when I say that each and every one of you is treasured. You all have contributed to my life and my progress one way or another. I'm just typing this as it comes.

love you all.

Spring cleaning

The problem with digital cameras, you become trigger happy. So many pictures to delete. You can't just burn them like the good o'l low-tech times.

So many gifts/memorabilia to stash away. You know, things you can't really throw, but don't really want around anymore.

So much unfinished business to settle.

So much belongings to return.

The problem is, how do you get rid of the memories thats stored in your brain? Sure there are good ones. But the good ones actually make you sad and bring on the bad ones.

How to reset, and go back to a time when everything was fine and dandy? To a time where you can prevent a mistake from happening. How?

Lonely nights with insomnia and an active mind are the worst.

Raindrops

I'm sitting here at my computer again. At 4:09am. This insomnia thing is really starting to become a nuisance. But then again, there are so many nuisances in my life right now.

There's thunder booming outside. And the occasional lightning flash. One thing I love when I am up at night, is rain. It soothes me and gives me a nice fuzzy feeling inside. I feel safe from the world as I watch the rain run down the glass on my windows. The sound of the rain drops pelting the roof has a nice droney hummm to it that seems to penetrate deep into my soul, as if telling me that the rain has come to wash my troubles away. Its bizarre and I don't know how to explain it in words.

I think rain has a certain divine quality to it. Sure, we've been taught in school that rain is the result of evaporated water from the surface of the earth condensing when it reaches a high altitude, forming clouds before falling back down to earth as water droplets, but I say that it's showers of blessings from the man with the plan.

I'm gonna go through the storm and come out fresh and renewed. Free from the leeches of the world. Sure, you pathetic parasites can come and take important things from me. But I'll crush you like the cockroaches that you are, and discover new and better treasures in store for me.

Letter to Life

Dear Life,

Hi, its me, Darren. I just thought that I'd drop you a note. Just to see how you are. Are you well? You know, sometimes I can't really figure out why you're so difficult to get along with. I mean, there are times when you're awesome, but then you can take a nose dive straight into the pits.

I feel that something's missing with you. Something's amiss. Are you progressing and moving on ahead? It sure feels like you're getting stagnant and there's no aim or direction in where you're heading. Thats tough man. Aren't you supposed to have big dreams and ambitions?

Why do things happen to you that make everything around stand still? Your university graduation is coming up, and so is your 26th birthday. But you don't seem excited at all. In fact, you don't really seem to care or think of it as another milestone in your existance. Sure, you thought that someone special would be there to share those moments with you, but face it, there is no special person anymore. May I remind you that the person actually made other plans, and wasn't gonna be present at your birthday or graduation in the first place? Its not worth the pain. Anyway, thats history. You really need to get a move on.

What about God? You and God should be walking next to each other. Walking down a path together, chatting. You can tell God your problems, and I'm sure he'll help you out. The hurdles along the path will be no problem with God by your side. I know that, and life, you should know that too.

Anyway, I hope you get better soon. Don't let the pain and misery get to you. You should just free the anger within you coz there's no point to it. Rather, I think you should embrace everything else thats good, coz there is still a lot of great things around you. So perk up and stay strong ok? You'll get through this, you always do. Its never easy, but its not impossible either. Look forward in anticipation to greater things to come! Take care buddy.

Love
Darren

SOS (Snowboard Or Ski)

Anybody wants to go to the snows in Jan? Snowboarding or skiing? Japan? Canada? America? Anywhere! I need to get out and ride. Please.

Immobilized

I am stuck at home. I can't go anywhere. And you know why? because some dumbass out there couldn't get a simple thing done correctly. See I was trying to install a set of "angel eyes" into my car. It was gonna be an "after exam special technical engineering project". so there I was. all excited and dismantling the left headlight unit. I'll leave out the technicalities but bottom line is, it was a lot of work. when it was finally time to install the light rings, i realised that they didn't fit. so i took some pictures, sent off an email asking for an explanation. The guy replied and said, " oh, those rings are the wrong size, did we send you these?" WTF?!? OF COURSE YOU SENT ME THESE, YOU MAKE THEM! I ORDERED FROM YOUR FREAKING WEBSITE!!!

anyhow, they said they'll send the right rings out to me as soon as possible but its coming from the states so i dunno how long it'll take to get here. and in the mean time, i'm not gonna go through the trouble of reinstalling my headlight fixture, just to take them out again when the correct rings come. Thus, I'm immobilized.

What the hell is wrong with these people anyway? Can't you just get a simple thing done right? whats with the stupidity? Man, its almost as STUPID AND MORONIC AS INVITING SOME GUY TO COME OVER AND STAY ALONE WITH YOU IN YOUR FREAKING APARTMENT AND THINKING THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND WILL BE OK WITH IT!!! WHAT THE FUCK MAN? DON'T YOU EVEN THINK OF THE IMPLICATIONS AND CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR BRAINLESS ACTIONS?! SUCH AUDACITY AND DISRESPECT.

Man, I really need to go for a drive.

FINISH

THATS IT MAN. THATS THE LAST STRAW. I'VE HAD ENOUGH AND I CANNOT BE BOTHERED ANYMORE. I'M BAILING.

Fishing, waterfalls, camping and bear

every end is a new beginning

Wow, time flies. I cannot believe that I have completed the gargantuan task of achieving an engineering degree. I remember thinking at the beginning that I still have a long way to go before I step into the realm of adulthood. I thought that it would be a while before I had to handle the responsibilites of a real adult. That time is now.

So where did the time go? It whizzed past in a flash. Its like some cosmic space time continuum that flows into an infinite entity that has no return. At the blink of an eye, I have reached the point where suddenly, the path isn't clear nor fixed. Whats next on the cards? Where are the instructions? Sure, I have some ideas of where I could head towards, but I'm not holding a definite map. Man, this is driving my mind nuts.

I was settled into my beanbag just the other day, a cold beer in my left hand, Buble playing through the living room stereo. I was reflecting in the dark about the journey that just concluded. Its really been a roller coaster ride down here in Melbourne. My first year of uni in Monash was an absolute disaster. I remember the insomnia and the frustration. Breaking out in cold sweat and panicing that I may have made another bad decision to study engineering here. So many times I pondered if I should switch courses. Friends telling me that I was nuts and I just needed to relax a little.

Seriously. God sent me a bunch of friends that really helped me through my entire uni course. Suddenly the lonliness and uncertainty was taken away from me and I actually felt that things would turn out fine. To my buddies studying ECSE in Monash, you guys rock and a big thanks to you all. Not only did we make it through the course together, but we went through some pretty awesome times.

God. I know for sure that I am slowly getting closer to God after coming to Australia. In fact, I think I'm closer to God than I've ever been. He works in the most amazing ways. Ways that you can never comprehend till you see the end of it. Though better late than never, I've managed to immerse myself in an awesome church and an amazing cell group filled with dynamic and inspirational people. These guys have really made a huge impact in my life and I wanna thank all of you for being the great bunch that you are.

So where do I go from here? I don't know. Life is full of questions with no answer booklet. Day after day I ask God and I know that I'll find my footing in due time. Its tough growing up. Time to step up unto the next adventure. Time to get a move on.

where's the popcorn?

So remember I mentioned something about my final CGM and how I would post pictures and an entry after my exams? Well it seems like I won't need to do it anymore since people like Eunice, Sharon, Louis, Anna and Amanda have all posted pretty detailed and picture filled entries about the event.

But do you want to know what REALLY went down that day? Check it out.....

Final Cell Group meeting, Final exam, finally.

What great timing.

Here I am tying up loose ends for my exam preperations, and I am running a fever! My nose has become watery, my eyes are hot and my body feels like a car radiator. Sigh, studying for this one and only paper is gonna be slow. Fortunately I've done most of my preperation already. But I also had other things to do. I had to prepare for the final cell group meeting. I was given emcee duties, along with band duty, tribute DVD and a bit of game preperaation. Never would I have imgined that I'd be so involved in a cell group. but it was an awesome experience. It was great working with you guys and I think we pulled it off pretty well considering that most of us were in the midst of exams and all.

But I think its taken a toll on my health. i need AIR-CONDITIONING!!!

Can you guys pray for my exam and that God will get me through this?

More pictures and details of the final CGM in the next post after exams. What a blast it was!

In the mean time, here's a cool exam picture I found at Randy's site.It kinda translates how I feel right now....

ciao~

Bee safe

Hey y’all!
I killed a bee today. Took me a while but I got rid of the bug eventually. It must’ve flown in when Eunice came by for dinner. A lot of patience was required along with lightning quick reflexes. I must’ve been standing under the kitchen light for about 7 minutes and 33 seconds before I got the perfect opportunity to swipe at the bee with all my might and my latest issue of wake-boarder magazine. It flies around pretty quickly these bees. And they love buzzing right by your ears to irritate you. Therefore, I have decided that instead of having to go through what I’ve been through.... I shall provide some insight on how to handle a rogue bee that has invaded your home to terrorize you.

1) Keep a black bear as a pet: Black bears are one of the bees’ natural predators and enemies. Not only do the bears destroy the bees’ nest to gain access to honey, they eat bees in the process as well! Great to nuzzle and snuggle into after a stressful day of work too.





2) Grow a giant carnivorous plant in the house: Various species of plants are carnivorous and they usually prey on small insects and other creepy crawlies though there have been accounts of unfortunate deaths for clumsy birds and tiny mammals. For best results, grow the genetically mutated, extreme giant kind that will eat bees like we eat peanuts.

3) Dress as a Giant flower pot head: This will allow you to fool the bee into thinking that you are its natural source of food, hence coming into a close enough proximity for you to smack it without too much hassle.












So, with summer approaching, its time to be prepared coz the bugs will be out in full force. Good luck and God bless.

Exam!

Oooooh. The 8th day of the month of November in the year 2005 is approaching! Which means that my one and only exam is around the corner! The last exam ever. The last official university examination. I've had a lot of time to prepare for it and I have been working at it, but the sense of urgency that glues everything to your brain just isn't there. And now that I'm starting to freak out, I am slowly starting to focus! So its cool, I'll get it done. Though it does suck to see friends around me starting to pop champagne and start the parties. Oh well......soon.